I'll admit I have huge problems with the concept of respect. To me it's very confusing because it means different things to different people. One of the meanings that I really have a strong hostility for is this kind of respect: "You must not offend me because I am better than you. You must obey my authority or I'll put you down. You want me to respect you? you have to earn my respect first, but by god you'll treat me with respect or else." And I really have a huge problem with this kind of respect. The big one is that's it's hypocritical. The hypocrisy comes in demanding that people give them respect while not giving other people respect themselves. For me, it seems the best for of respect comes from two examples: Fred Mac Murray and Harold T. Stone. Fred Mac Murry was an actor in the sixties and seventies who did a lot of Disney films. Harold T. Stone was a fictional character in the old TV sitcom Night Court played by Harru Anderson. But both of these guys had one thing in common: they would treat people with dignity and grace regardless of their walk of life and even if those people hadn't earned it. And, it seems to me that the best way to earn respect is to treat people with dignity and grace even if they don't deserve. To those that are difficult personalities or don't want it, there's nothing you can do but stay away from those people. This is my ideal vision of respect and what I aspire to. And people do seem to respond to this better than being brow beaten into submission. So what do you think respect is?
Out of all western countires, Americans are the least respectful. Granted many countries are far more dangerous, and they'll kill you for less which respecting someone's life is part of respect. but Americans are one of the most, if not the most, crass. In those countries, if you act like an American, or say the things that Americans say, you will end up dead. The olympics in Sochi. We were the only country that had to be advised to not leave our hotels unless we needed to, because of their own safety. The state department issued warnings, more than any other country. It has to do with the sensless collateral damage in Iraq in part, but also due to our attitudes and greed. America, no matter what someone else tells you, is the most greedy country on Earth. I think America's crassness has a lot to do with it. Respect is at all time low in America. Students hospitalizing teachers, swearing at them, never happened in the past really, or you were shunned. According a study, 60-80% of Americans think lack of respect is a serious problem in America. It's part of the culture of hate and maliciousness. Somebody told me I didn't know the first thing about respect, "Respect is earned". Jesus Christ was a real person, perhaps or perhaps not the son of god, but irreguardless something he says makes a lot of sense, "Respect fellow men" and "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you". Not a lot of that in America. "You must not offend me because I am better than you. You must obey my authority or I'll put you down. You want me to respect you? You have to earn my respect first, but by god you'll treat me with respect or else." Yep, that attitude is not good ethier.
Yeah too bad Americans expect not to be killed for their opinions. How crass of them. Seems to me it had more to do with the abject intolerance exhibited by terrorist harboring countries. One thing Americans don't seem to understand is that no good deed goes unpunished. Americans generally believe that they have to earn the respect of individuals regardless of country of origin. Apparently the same is not true of people in other countries.
Respect starts with extending human courtesy to strangers but, from there, it has to be earned. For instance, a boss may demand that a new-hire respect his authority and do as he commands during working hours. This shows that the employee respects not only the boss but the company, corporation or institution they were just hired to work in. However, if that same boss shows the employee disrespect (beyond guidance and correction) then that person (boss) will never be truly respected.
I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in treating others as I would like to be treated. However, if someone is treating me poorly, I will draw the line. I refuse to be mistreated if I did not deserve it. I will treat everyone I encounter with respect unless they give me a reason not to -- and then I will quietly take my exit.
I honestly think that the kind of respect you're talking about is basically non-existent, and you've taken your impression of it to be the reality of it. There are many different kinds of respect. There's a chain of command respect that is especially apparent in the military, where it is more of a 'crime' to disrespect someone of a high rank with the same exact words that you might say to someone of a low rank. I think this is the kind that you're thinking of, but you've mischaracterized it. It's more about humility - if you haven't done jack, don't act like you have. General respect is just being nice and not being a turd-nugget. I generally go by this. There is still a certain amount of deference, undefined, that I give to people in superior positions. I wouldn't talk to a boss in exactly the same way as an associate, and I'd give even more deference to a company executive. But there's only so much deference. That doesn't mean that they can be turd-nuggets. When someone is being outright rude and/or disrespectful, I'll toss it back in their face, usually with an amount of deference appropriate for their position. So if I'm a student and a Professor says something personally demeaning, I'd tell what's what, that what he said was inappropriate and unbecoming of someone of his position (someone who is full of themselves will get real butthurt over something like that). If it's another student saying something personally demeaning, then I might just say shut the f up. Students aren't even on the same peer level as associates, and that'd be like some random guy walking down the street calling you a slur - tell him to shut the f up and mind his own damned business.
quite right. When people say 'respect is earned', they're not talking about common decency. They're talking about high esteem. My brother was in combat and I never quite looked at him the same way - for what he did, he had earned an elevated respect in my eyes. Some snot-nosed brat, or even a polite teenager has not earned that high esteem.
hmmm. It sounds like you're pretty isolated. It could very well be a Bangor thing. I know it's a Lewiston-Auburn thing. You could try swinging up to Aroostook or down to Cumberland, or York. Hell, try going out of state, but Americans are quite polite and respectful. Also, as far as greed, yeah that's just bull.
This is simple. One male is sir; the plural is gentlemen. One female is maam; the plural is ladies. A group of males and females is Ladies and gentlemen. Of course it throws off some people to be called sir or ma'am that are clearly 1/2 my age...it's ingrained. I have loosened up a bit in that regard, but if someone is clearly older than me or around my age, they will be addressed as sir or ma'am. I will hold a door for anyone regardless of age, status or any other demographic. The above isn't so much a matter of respect, but more so a common courtesy.
Going back to my days in the service. There is the concept referred to as noblesse oblige; a French phrase meaning nobility obliges. With nobility comes duty, and as you rise in rank, you become more and more responsible to your troops. Someone saluting you means they are placing their loyalty with you. Don't disappoint them, you need to be worthy of that salute. Learn the names and know a little bit about each and every one of the individuals in your charge, if possible. This is noblesse oblige.
Actually the word sir originates with knighthood and is a title of nobility. It is earned when a person is knighted by the Queen. example is Sir Elton John.
You are totally correct, but I like Herkdriver's attitude. My late father carried the title of Colonel Sir William ********** KCMG, DSO and Bar, MC, but was studiously polite with everyone he met, and often used the term Sir when addressing someone he did not know. He died when I was quite small, so I never got the chance to discuss these things with him, but I think he was quite clever in so doing. If you make people (who otherwise might not) feel important and respected, you are much more likely to receive their respect (and compliance if that is important). It is not a question of being dishonest in any way, because I genuinely like people (and so respect them) even if they are strangers, until I have reason to feel otherwise. Courtesy and consideration costs nothing, but is likely to reap huge rewards. And it is quite nice to see a stranger smile with unexpected pleasure - it makes you feel good.
Yep,. sometimes I'll say hello to complete strangers just to see how they react. Most of the time they're friendly. other times they're bemuse or annoyed with a kind of a "who the heck is that guy?" reaction.
The custom of common courtesy sort of hits the spot here. Let's skip over or down to Texas and take a look at how things are generally done there. It's a public courtesy thing. You silently nod to a fellow adult while passing him or her on the street -- once upon a time a hat wearing male would tip his hat to another male or to a female; but nowadays it's just a fractional head nod acknowledging the other person's potential decency and goodness (if you will it's the community values worth of a fellow human being) in passing. In general one still thanks another person for rendering any form of service whatsoever, even if you paid that other person . . . such as a clerk doing his or her job. You open the door for either another man or for a woman -- gender really does not matter. It's not all that complicated. Now compare that custom set to some other states in the union where public surliness, indifference, or outright rudeness might just possibly be the custom de jure instead. The way that Texans and even perhaps southerners in general still do things to this day makes for a more pleasant daily environment if nothing else. Common courtesies of a public nature . . . or ritualized respect for one another. This is one form of respect but not the only ones.
Many Euro countries, and non-Euro countries donate more of their GDP by percentage, much more than the US, so actually that's bull because other countires are more likely to donate money to people. http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2010/sep/08/charitable-giving-country
