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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It isn't true that if you don't smoke, drink, or fornicate, you live longer . . . it just seems longer!
     
    cerberus, Oct 12, 2018
    #2351
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  2. Mandelus

    Mandelus Well-Known Member

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    From a comedy show played by us:

    "Men ... actually husbands work normally, at least most of the time.

    Recently, my husband suddenly gave a start!
    He had ordered a book from Amazon entitled, "How will I become the master of my house."
    When I saw that, I asked him directly, "What's that for a crap?" !!!
    He then said, "Yeah, you know, from now on, you will cook me every day only what I like" ... I said then "interesting" ...
    He said then "and on TV we only watch what I want to watch ... and in bed we only do the sex I want!" I said then ... "that's getting more better!"

    He then said, "And Misses ... what do you mean, who tomorrow morning will have the honor to wash and dress this body?"

    I said, "I suppose a person from the funeral company?"
     
    Mandelus, Oct 12, 2018
    #2352
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  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    I love the win a pearl necklace in the corner lol, Liking NT News ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 12, 2018
    #2353
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  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What's black and doesn't work?
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    Half of London.
     
    Nonnie, Oct 12, 2018
    #2354
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your husband told you to.
     
    Nonnie, Oct 12, 2018
    #2355
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  6. C2isme

    C2isme Member

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    [​IMG]
    Feinkenstein
     
    C2isme, Oct 12, 2018
    #2356
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  7. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Nonnie, Oct 12, 2018
    #2357
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  8. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    That's the NT for you! There's usually a crocodile story too.
     
    Sallyally, Oct 12, 2018
    #2358
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  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I took a group of Hunchbacks to the movies last night.
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    They were on the edge of their seats.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2359
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I've just qualified as an abortionist.
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    I kid you not.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2360
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I think this year's Fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined!
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2361
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My 9-year-old told me his teacher said I'm a bad parent.
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    "Right," I said. "Finish your pint and we'll go and have it out with the ****."
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2362
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  13. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    We have a similar quality publication in the UK but it's better because it has tits in it ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2363
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Is that the one that said the queen mother was a lizard?
     
    Sallyally, Oct 13, 2018
    #2364
  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    That ones true I heard it from David Icke ;)

     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2365
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    This is very true lol.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2366
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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2367
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  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Haha. Poor Phil.
     
    Sallyally, Oct 13, 2018
    #2368
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2369
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2370
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2371
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
    #2372
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  23. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
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  24. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    At the Urinal, An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used about 20 paper towels before he finished.

    He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."

    The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

    The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Texas and they taught us not to piss on our hands.
     
    Sallyally, Oct 13, 2018
    #2374
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Oct 13, 2018
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