'Trad wives' have blown up online since Roe v. Wade was overturned, but that's only half the story

Many of my youngest (36 yr/o twins) friends opted for a”trad” family after their children were born. I was surprised . Their lifestyle and ideology came no where near to the family dynamic they chose. As you pointed out the benefits, I think today’s young people are realizing the value of a stay at home parent . That’s not to say working mothers and fathers don’t raise “good” kids. Economics dictates the structure. My early widowed working sister raised three boys on her own. They are grown, never in trouble and quite successful. An engineer, a PA, and a UPS driver.

The pandemic and telework gave parents an opportunity, stressful as it may have been, to be home with their kids as they were also home virtual learning. Families learned to do with less, got outside more and became more creative with activities they could do together and they liked it. I think that played a role in some choosing a more focused lifestyle on their family when things went back to “normal”. The more traditional dynamic worked for them both financially and structurally. I don’t see a problem.

 

Actual account creation is a mixture, but when they started posting this kind of content generally aligns. Also, the followers and wider promoters (up to and including Fox News apparently) are relevant too. Even if the content creators aren't promoting their lifestyle as superior or for everyone, their material is certainly open to being presented in that manner.

I don't think it is a simply binary. Presenting anything with perfectly managed imagery focusing entirely on the positive and never anything negative is going to have an element of promotion, even if it isn't intentional.

Well, not to be harsh, but she would say that wouldn't she. Interestingly, the same lady is quoted in the article about the increase in attention following the Roe v Wade ruling; "To adhere to traditional values you must believe in the value of life and defending the voiceless and unborn" (my emphasis). So there does seem to be some level of cognitive connection there.

I never said it doesn't happen, only that it isn't especially significant as that against any other grouping (and clearly much less so in some cases). It can just feel that way because it's relatively new. I think it's also relevant that your first example is really criticising you for not following a traditional "masculine" role, so is really a counter to what you're talking about.

Generally no, but that's part of the problem because this is more about an artificial image of a perfect past rather than any reality. Take the example of comment that being a "Trad Wife" is a choice today when in the time period they're emulated, it often really wasn't.

So they want women who won't "vilify" them? Even if it's justified? Not that I can ever recall being vilified by any feminists (maybe that is a primarily American issue?)

 

I didn't know about the term "Trad wife" before now.

I was fairly convinced as I was reading about it that the Trad wives were really the husband's mistresses not getting an abortion and instead choosing to settle down and have the bastard children.

Who's going to pay for that? We can't barely afford to live on two incomes these days. But it would surely teach the husband a lesson for cheating on his wife.

Unintended consequences.

 

You lefties really have a very hostile and angry view of traditional gender roles. No one's asking you to be a tradwife.

 

That article was trying to make a connection between this phenomena of resurgence of the "Trad wife" and the change to the RvW decision.
In actuality, I think the two have nothing to very little to do with each other.

There were already signs before the court decision that women's employment levels were consistently starting to head in a downwards direction (something unprecedented since 1955).

So I think it might have more to do with economic factors. Childcare is expensive. Living in big cities has become unaffordable. (Traditionally many women moved to big cities to establish their careers) It has become harder to find jobs that pay good incomes.
Lots of women these days are marrying men who are much older than they are. This is due to economic circumstances. These more mature men often are ready to have children and want to start a family.

 

Whilst those advocating for “traditional” roles are advocating for reduction in choice for a lot of women

 

So because some people oppose abortion (many of which are women), we should diss women who choose to stay home and not work?

Yeh, that’s logical. That’s supporting women and diversity.

I support diversity and choices for women as long as those choices are the exact same as mine. LOL.

SMH.

 

My wife is totally against equality for women. She sees no reason to step down off her pedestal.

 

I've seen nothing in this thread to suggest that.

 

Traditional wives? You mean the system that has worked just fine since the dawn of time?

 

Feminists don't want equality. They want special treatment.

 

Well, depends on YOUR definition of “trad wife” doesn’t it?

 

No, not really. Its already been defined for you in the article. No need to spin with subjective definitions when one is already given.

 

What is the purpose of having children if it is not to nurture and educate them at home? What reasoning has led people to think that career is more important than their child's life? Apparently, babies are made without much real understanding of goals and consequences. It has always seemed to me to be the greatest possible responsibility a person could undertake.

 

It isn't about choosing to be a homemaker rather than working, especially with young children. That in itself is perfectly fine, even to be celebrated where it works for a particular family (though so is a father being the one to take that role or a couple sharing the childcare responsibilities around both working).

The "Trad Wife" trend goes much further than that, and it's the elements of complete submission to the husband and not being permitted to have any friends, pastimes or life outside the home that raises the concern. It's hard to present it as a choice when it specifically involves giving up freedom of choice.

Compared to "I support diversity and choices for women as long as those choices are the exact same as their husband's"?

 

Well if you are going to make up your own definitions to fit your argument I'm not interested in your input. Thanks for your participation.

 

Please provide evidence any Trad wife is forced and not making a choice of lifestyle.

 

Absolutely. Same with men. They also shouldn't be shamed if they aren't the breadwinner of the household and raise the kids at home.

 

I'm not saying they didn't make a free choice to enter that lifestyle (though we don't know either way) but if that lifestyle includes concepts like unquestioning submission to their husband and limited access to outside contact, it raises the question whether they'd be free to choose to leave.

I doubt this applies to the social media influencers themselves (if they truly follow the lifestyle entirely in the first place), but normal women (and men) who see the wonderful lives presented in their material could be convinced to commit to lives that aren't necessarily good for them. It isn't just about the freedom to make choices, but the ability to make fully informed choices.

 

Should married folk practice fidelity? What’s the point of marriage at all if some “choices” aren’t made?

I’m open to evidence women who want to be Trad wives are being coerced or exploited. So far we have your biased opinion that you don’t like it.

Meh.

 

I think that is (and should be) a fairly understandable stance when a conversation about how a woman 'should' live her life is introduced. Its all well and good that we have our opinions about it but don't be surprised when feminists get our backs up. As a woman, I don't need a man to tell me how I should live my life anymore than I would imagine men don't need women to tell them how to live theirs.

 

I basically agree, but I would remind you that each and every one of us IS judged by other members of society. Some keep their judgments to themselves, some don't.

 

How many times to I have to say that I'm not opposing choices. What I am saying is that there is something of a logical disconnect in the idea of choosing to give up any future freedom to choice.

Again, I never stated that they were, I am pointing out that it is clearly a very real risk that doesn't appear to be addressed by the influencers. We know that women (and men) can be and are all too often coerced and exploited in relationships, and that social isolation and dominance are common tools used by abusers. It should be a consideration in the context of any relationship structure or movement being promoted.

I think part of the problem is that the whole image the influencers are seeking to present is based around perfection, so they're not going to want to talk about anything potentially negative, large or small. This isn't exclusive to this movement either, it can be an issue with a whole range of different concepts, products or lifestyles that are promoted or celebrated in this way, especially when there is money to be made from it too.

 

Well speaking as a man who was in a relationship with a woman, I do value her input. Of course I'm not going to be told what to do but if I'm doing something that might not be best for me or others, I like to hear about it.

I also offer my input to her. I believe it's actually part of a healthy relationship of give and take

 

That’s what marriage is. Giving up future freedom of choice. Lots of choices. Sexual partners. How you spend your time. How you spend your money.

Accepting employment involves giving up freedom of choice. Joining the military….having children. I guess all are logical disconnects.

SMH.

Sure. Lesbian and bisexual relationships have some of the highest rates of domestic abuse. We don’t say women should not go online and promote those lifestyles, do we?

Yeh, everyone should be careful of partner choices. I just can’t see trad wives as a problem. Seems like a strange thing to focus on if abuse is the concern.