Ethical porn - the real gender gap

Discussion in 'Women's Rights' started by Bowerbird, Oct 11, 2019.

  1. Bowerbird

    Bowerbird Well-Known Member

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    This Op Ed from the ABC(Aus) is both entertaining and, especially for women, thought provoking

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-10...-with-my-daughter-and-you-should-too/11590864

    It does make a point and a good one - if most teens are learning the “mechanics” of sex through porn should we not make sure that what is depicted won’t end up with broken relationships because young men have the wrong idea of what to do?
     
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  2. ryobi

    ryobi Well-Known Member

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    Psychologists call porn a super normative stimulus.

    A super normative stimulus is something people (and animals) should normally be stimulated by but in super exaggerated artificial way.

    For example male beetles are attracted to shiny female beetles however when confronted with a super shiny bottle cap the beetles will ignore the female beetles and instead try to mate with the super shiny bottle cap.

    Porn is like the super shiny bottle caps to some people.

    Porn can desensitize some people to normal stimuli to such an extant that it can even result in what's known as porn induced erectile dysfunction.
     
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  3. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    The author assumes that men who consume porn do not understand that what they are watching is fiction and this is the same kind of nonsense argument that young boys who play videogames or listen to rap music cannot tell the difference between entertainment and reality - A highly dubious claim.

    I do not know if the author is just trying to be funny when she lists her "unhelpful takeaways from mainstream porn" [What does "mainstream porn" even mean?], but she comes out as highly unserious, clueless and smug in doing so. You could as easily make similar points about the all-time bestselling novel among women - 50 Shades of Grey; "It teaches women to accept rape and men to physically harm women to get them aroused."

    Arguments of crypto-puritan garbage. It is not even clear what the author's case is and I do not see much of a red line in her "argumentation" (something that is largely absent in the article). More than anything, the article comes out as a typical Boomer critic of contemporary youth combined with Feminist cluelessness.

    The solution to the "problem of porn consumption" is marriage and no, we do not need any kind of sex-ed whatsoever since we are already biologically programmed to know how to reproduce.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2019
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  4. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Let's begin with a look at the data because it reveals some surprising insights.

    https://www.statista.com/chart/16959/share-of-the-internet-that-is-porn/
    [​IMG]

    From the above the fact that the ratio between information to porn is 40:1 puts it into perspective.

    However the OP included this statement;

    While I do not question that men are far more interested in porn the data above indicates that there is a significantly larger number of mobile searches than web searches by a ratio of 3:2.

    Enabling porn search blockers on browsers is easy but how many parents enable them on mobile devices? Access to porn is a parental responsibility but not all parents are sufficiently tech savvy to understand that a smart phone is just another internet device.

    Which brings us back to the OP question. I am going to bring up an anecdote here because it will provide an interesting contrast. During WW2 my father and his brothers were serving overseas and returned after the war and got married. One of his brothers tells the story that on his honeymoon he had to go out and buy some porn to show to his new wife. Apparently her sheltered upbringing was such that no one had ever explained the mechanics of intercourse to her. Compare that to now when access to porn is readily available and does not require making a purchase in a seedy store in a back alley.

    Yes, porn does portray unrealistic scenarios which is where parental guidance and education comes into (fore)play. It is the duty of the parent(s) to ensure that their children understand that sex is more about the satisfaction of your partner than satiating your own lust. Failing that it is going to be up to the young women to reeducate their partners.
     
  5. Xenamnes

    Xenamnes Banned

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    If it is simply not possible for individuals to differentiate between fantasy and reality, perhaps they do not deserve to reproduce.
     
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  6. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    As far as "sexual pleasure" goes, men are more reactive to visual stimuli than are women. This explains why more men consume pornography and why the market is more directed to men.

    Women are more "mental" which is why "sexual fiction" is bigger among women than it is among men.

    A child should not even know what porn is and if they come from a somewhat normal household, they won't even know what it is. This does not mean that they cannot get in contact with the material by accident, but if a 7 year old voluntarily seeks for pornography on the Internet, something is very wrong.

    Children are, per definiton, non-sexual beings.

    I do agree that this is an "issue" that is best - and only to be - solved by parental responsibility and if a 12 year old gets in contact with such material, it is not the end of the world. He will not become a school shooter nor a rapist because he found a photograph of a naked celebrity on the Interwebz.

    Smells like bollocks to me. We are hardwired to know the "mechanics of intercourse". If this was not the case, none of us would be here since pornography did not exist back in the caveman days other than, maybe, on some cavepaiting or something.

    When a person reaches puberty, they know. It is automatic. Animals know and I do not think animals have access to pornography, do they?

    A healthy upbringing will leave the child with enough empaty and social competence to understand this.

    Even children understand the difference between fiction and reality and I find it highly bothersome when adults project their own perceptions and lack of understanding onto children.

    Children and teens are not dumb and it is important not to treat them as such.

    If you teach the child from a young age to be understanding, empathetic and considerate they will be able to translate that into a sexual context when they are older. There is no reason to talk to your child about sex in explicit terms if you do not want to and - to be fair - doing so is a bit perverted. However, I would rather see this come from the parents than from the government (school), which is the case now.
     
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  7. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Having taught sex Ed in New York City for at least 15 years let me tell you… Sex ed should be required in every school
     
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  8. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Adolescents do not want to talk to the parents. Students would journal to me and pour out their guts. They would ask me things they could not ask their parents. It is normal to be embarrassed to talk to your parents about sex. When a child reaches puberty they still do not understand sexual satisfaction. They know what sexual intercourse is but that’s about it
     
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  9. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    You are not the most trustworthy source on this matter as you are - to say the least - quite biased as it concerns your own profession. Obviously you have interest to push for it.

    As someone who had sex-ed in middle school and high school, I can tell you that the subject is utterly pointless and did not teach me anything at all.

    Probably not, but there is no point in doing so anyways.

    It might work better for some students than for others. Not everyone is the same.

    And school's role in this should be exactly what?
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2019
  10. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    Surely your sex Ed teachers weren’t as good as I was.:) I hear from kids I taught 20 years ago ..several were being sexually abused.The class dealt with techniques to avoid unwanted touching. As far as homosexuality was concerned all I said was it is not good, it is not bad it just is a d I laugh when you say I have interest in pushing it. What would my interest me other than my experience? You have no idea what the kids thought and my classroom was safe enough for a dialogue. As an example the boys said how girls Loved it when guys make kissing noises when they pass by. The girls said, “no we don’t” and then finally one boy said then what should we do? Several boys over the years said that they know when a girl wants sex even if She says no! i Explained to them that if she says no , no matter what you will be a rapist. And I also expressed that girls have to make sure the messages are clear and that even includes dress sometimes
    The class dealt with techniques to avoid unwanted sexual attention. As far as homosexuality was concerned all I said was it is not good, it is not bad it just is.Some courageous kids even came out and talked about their gay parents and and humanized it and I don’t understand what your motive is when you say the class doesn’t work for everyone. Neither does a history class or an English class work for everyone. The fact that my students felt safe in a classroom that personal was very rewarding. Most of the journals were filled with teenage angst and they knew that if I thought they were in danger it was my responsibility to report it. I probably reported about a dozen cases and it broke my heart. I have some really interesting stories.you Might know that I began every class with a question and the question was, “what is the best form of birth control” and they would have to answer with “abstinence
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2019
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  11. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    Since it is your job, you obviously have a pile of incentives to ensure the class isn't scrapped. I am not making a judgement here, only am I pointing out an obvious fact.

    What age were these kids and from which socio-cultural background did they come? This sounds rather unbelieveble to say the least.

    My God! What sort of parents did these boys have? :no:

    Honestly, I have no idea why you share all of this. I never asked and I do not really care.
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2019
  12. Renee

    Renee Well-Known Member

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    I think you need a bit of a reality check! You sound like someone from the 50s
     
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  13. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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  14. Yant0s

    Yant0s Active Member

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    Women were 87% happier in the 50's.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2019
  15. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'm not entirely sure whats being proposed here. If it is that some enterprising pornographer make 'realistic' porn, or maybe some agency rates porn for its realism, specifically for the education of the sexually incompetent, I could see that potentially being a benefit to society.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2019
  16. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Unsubstantiated nonsense proven WRONG by the FACTS!

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/20...-to-be-female-than-seventy-years-ago-accordi/

     
  17. doombug

    doombug Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps porn should not be shown to kids.....ever thought of that?
     
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  18. Yant0s

    Yant0s Active Member

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    I've watched realistic porn. Usually someone records it with a cellphone and it gets uploaded to the internet.

    Not much different to studio porn really, just better camera angles, video quality and sometimes they do a bit of talking to set up some kind of plot.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
  19. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    So you don't believe in evolution? The only way to learn how to have sex's by watching pornography? What did people do before pornography how did they all get here?

    This is a stupid thing to be concerned about.
     
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  20. vman12

    vman12 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Go make feminist porn. I'm sure that'll sell.
     
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  21. vman12

    vman12 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
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  22. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Actually have a hard time understanding what that would be. It wouldn't be women dominating men because that already exists.

    Maybe it's just stock footage of the women's March.
     
  23. vman12

    vman12 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It would just be footage of some dude rubbing her feet or something while she berates him.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
  24. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    the responsibility lies with the individual's actions, not with the industry itself...

    stop propagating for nanny state...

    blame the offending individual and punish them, not any one else...

    geeze, y'all dont want anyone to take responsibity for themselves...

    krazy, i say!
     
  25. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    They already have stuff like that. It wouldn't be feminist either because it fetishises women's body parts.

    I think it's probably video of a huge womyn with face piercings blue hair and the ugliest possible glasses you can imagine screaming about her right to have an abortion (assuming a guy would impregnate her)
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
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