Girls, find the guy you like and tell him he is special to you! Guys find the girl you like and tell her the same. There is no good excuse for not doing this except for fear of rejection which is cowardice equally for men and women. Live your life and seize your guy or gal. The worst sin is that they don’t know how important they are to you!!!
Why does everyone have to find a mate? Some people are okay with not being in a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.
How do you know that? Yes, society pressures people into thinking they NEED a mate to make their life complete, but that's not set in stone and is more of a social construct than some kind of inherent need to be with a partner.
Language is a social construct too, but that doesn't make it any less real. The thing is, life, if you are lucky, is long, and there is not much sadder than the elderly alone with no family because they spent a life not having one, and ended up with no one caring about them.
I never said wanting a mate isn't real. From the time little kids are small (even younger than grade school) they are jokingly "paired" with other little kids. It's disgusting. There is NOTHING wrong with being without a partner or not even wanting to be with one. People search for happiness outside themselves and keep chasing impossible dreams that they will have a fairy tale life if they just meet "the one". It's ridiculous. There are many people, including myself, that don't have loving family. I have come to terms with it and have made friends who are closer to me than anyone I'm biologically related to. I was socially distancing before it was a thing and I don't often feel lonely because I know that I don't NEED another person to "complete" me. Sure, it's nice to spend time with others sometimes, but I'm also content being without constant contact. Conversely, one of my neighbors will go into a full-on high panic attack if he isn't around people or talking to somebody on the phone every 20 minutes (no exaggeration). I've never been afraid of my inner thoughts so I don't mind being quiet with them. So, rest assured that many people can have others care about them if they are married/in a relationship with them or not.
If I were looking for a mate I would attend several churches and ask friends to introduce me to their single friends. I would never, never, never, join an on-line dating site. Show me someone with problems and I'll show you someone who is always looking for problems.
Of course it's ridiculous. But you are not telling us what you really mean. Perhaps you can't. Some people don't like sex. Others have trouble with intimate relationships, I certainly did before I got lucky and found my wife. My mantra is go with what works. But sometimes you don't know what will work, until you work at it a good long while.
You culled my post quite a bit. I explained what I really mean in it. I'm happy that you found what you were looking for. I am just saying that people cannot tell another what is best for them. Can you imagine how wonderful the world would be if people stopped trying to tell others what they "should" be doing, "should" want, "should" be like? Utopia!
How did you reach that conclusion? I wrote that not everyone is looking for a mate to feel fulfilled and/or "complete" and there is nothing wrong with that.
It's important yes, but far too much people fall into escapism when it come to relationship. Hoping their life would be extremly better with someone else, which put a lot of pression on the other one.
Humans and other animals are programmed for men to be the initiators and the women to be the choosers. Humans value that which is hard to get and has to be won from competition from others. At the beginning of courtship women have the advantage because men desire sex far more, and that advantage can decrease or even be reversed later on because women tend to desire commitment far more. The bold approach often doesn't work for women because men often view women who initiate as desperate or easy since women tend to not do this. The men won't value these women as highly and are less likely to want a long-term relationship, marriage, and kids. A better alternative is for women to give men signals and get those men to recognize those signals then initiate. Women can also be social, have friendships with many men, or put themselves in situations where they will be hit on. The bold approach often works well for men because men are expected to initiate, most men are shy, and most women wait for men and get frustrated with how few initiate with them. However, women can be made very uncomfortable if a man who isn't interest hits on her. Being bold is better than doing nothing but don't take it too far and try to hit on women who are showing positive signals. If a man is too bold, he can also be seen a needy or desperate. Men who are needy and desperate tend to be low-value unattractive men with few options. So tone down that boldness and don't act too much out of neediness and desperation. Men can also benefit from having many female friends and being in situations where they are more likely to find a partner.
