"I Don't Have A Problem With Gay People..."

It really annoys me when people say this: 'I don't have a problem with gay people, I just don't think they should be allowed to get married'.

Seriously. You cannot say you have no issue with a group of people and then list a problem you have with that group. Its hypocritical Its like saying 'I am not a racist, I just don't like black people'.

Does this drive anyone else mad, or is it just me?

 

It's a difficult one and there are a lot of ways this position can be interpreted. I can only think of two at the moment though.

1 "I despise homosexuals but I can't come out and say it because I don't want to be thought of as a bigot".
2."I tolerate homosexuals but I don't accept homosexuality as being normal so I can't support the idea of marriage which I think should only be permitted for heterosexuals".

At least the gay haters are up front and consistent. The sneaky hypocrite is another thing again. I think some people feel a need to tolerate the idea of homosexuality just as they tolerate other cultures and people of various ethnic appearance, because they've been brought up to be tolerant and liberal-minded and tolerance is part of their value-system. Problem is they'd tolerate so many things that they'd find they're unable to stand up and say they bloody well hate something, such as fascism, because they still feel a need to be tolerant of it. This is not helpful.

People who can accept differences in others, whether they be based on sexuality, physical appearance, disability, ethnicity and all the rest of it will find it quite easy to accept that marriage for same-sex couples is no big deal. But then acceptance is not tolerance.

I went off topic a bit, sorry about that. I'll reiterate - the statement 'I don't have a problem with gay people, I just don't think they should be allowed to get married' - is hypocritical and should be attacked every time it appears.

 

In all honesty, I have a small margin more respect for the individuals who just come out and say "I don't like gays, the idea of gay sex is disgusting to me."

At least they are honest enough to admit they only reason they have a problem is the sexual aspect.

 

I don't like gays, the idea of gay sex is disgusting to me. Having said that, what they do in privacy is their own business, and I don't care. I have no intention of ever harming, threatening, or being anything other than civil to them in public. I don't favor gay marriage, but I do favor civil unions. Will that do?

 

Spot-on and Amen!!

 

Yet you started a thread about how you voted for amendment 1 in NC, which banned civil unions, and domestic partnerships.

 

I don't mind civil unions and domestic partnerships.

But a church or private organization should not be forced to perform the ceremony. They have their rights too.

But if two people become "partners" they should have the same benefts and rights as hetrosexual couples...such as insurance, social secerity etc.

And the thought of two men having sex I find disgusting...a woman and a woman...not so much.

 

Will civil unions do for you???

Either we all marry or we all get civil unions. Take your pick.

 

Your disgust is your own private matter. My equality is a public matter. A civil marriage with all the same benefits as any other couple will do nicely for me, thank you.

 

They have a right to their opinion, but in the end, their opinion should have be able to dictate how other people are allowed to live. Homosexuals do not have an effect on their life, aside from offending them, and not being offended is not a right.

 

Interesting posts.

There's some tolerance here - "Gay sex disgusts me but there should be civil unions". That's fair enough, no-one should be told that something shouldn't disgust them. I don't know if there's any acceptance been expressed by heterosexual posters yet. I suppose acceptance might come along in the form of "who cares, I'm not fussed."

 

Your welcome!

 

Exactly True!!

 

Whether is disgusts them or not does not matter......their opinion should not dictate whether gays are allowed to marry or not.

 

That's what they're asking for though.

 

The basic idea behind this is that people can get along despite disagreeing with each other over this or that issue. It's when you dig deeper and try to get honest answers as to why they take the position they do on this issue, that you eventually find what's really at the root of it. It's not so much "having a problem with gay people" as having a misplaced sense of one's own superiority to others. Or in the case of gay people who oppose marriage equality themselves, it seems to be based either in misplaced sense of one's own inferiority, or a desire to keep "gay culture" "pure" by eschewing the institutions of "heterosexual society", as if gay people and straight people somehow operate in separate societies and have separate cultures; it's the misplaced perception that gays are somehow superior to straight people because they refuse to burden themselves with commitments like marriage. In other words, there's a whole lotta BS floating around in some people's heads.

 

Whether you have a right to "equality" in the term that you use it is a matter of opinion, not objective fact.

People are allowed to disagree with that without being called bigots.

Many people simply do not equate gay rights with civil rights, and you're just going to have to accept that some states are not going to recognize your union.

 

Not if the source of their disagreement is bigotry - and it often is.

And no, I don't have to find the situation of my inequality acceptable.

 

Too (*)(*)(*)(*)ing bad. We're not having your equality shoved down our throats against our will. DOMA is law of the land and DOMA says it's a State's Rights issue which means if you don't live in a liberal state.. the limp wristed fairy boys are S-O-L HAHAHA

 

The law is changing as we speak. DOMA is eventually going bye-bye; that is evident.

(see the above)

Why be so arrogant? Yeah, keep doing gay guys the favor of thinking they are 'weak' (makes it easier for them to win what they are fighting for).

 

A complicated issue.

Historically gay marriage has been fought against for centuries if not millenia. And what is the reason for this? There must be a core reason why society after society has not allowed it.

Given this historical resistance. Is it a wise move to change the course of historical mood.

 

"I don't have a problem with gay people..." is rather vague. You can look at it this way.

If a brother and sister couple lived on my block--I would still talk to them as human beings. Would be friendly, neighborly and respect their right to live how they choose. What they do behind their doors is their business. Its not against the law.

But I will vote against marriage between siblings.

 

Historically, marriage was a man sellingh his daughter as a sex slave to another man.

 

What was on the ballot was to add an amendment to the state constitution saying that a marriage between other than a man and woman is not recognized. That was what I voted for.

It also bans civil unions, which I don't oppose. I couldn't separate the two. If the state later votes to amend the amendment to allow civil unions, I'll support that.

 

Since you're clearly incapable of discussing the issue in a mature fashion, I will simply ignore you henceforth.