Is your life good right now or not? and why?

Mine is bad.

No girlfriend, no work.

I experience loneliness and a meaningless living experience.

 

It's alright.
Studying, planning for a solo trip to America which is also fun, and, sort of not wanting a girlfriend until I come back as I want to enjoy America as a single man and have no compromises on my trip.
I just turned 30 last November and I plan to go when I'm 31 next year... I don't mind travelling/seeing the world being a new fad/30's thing in my life... IDK, some people bird watch, me, I want to travel maybe.

 

Oh, this is a complicated one.

Married. Own a house. Got a good, pretty well-paid job. Tonnes of very kind and caring friends. Incredibly popular among my wife's relatives, for some reason. Rather talented at singing, playing the guitar and the piano, and even dabbling in writing at times.

So, why am I no more than an inch from hopping in front of a train?

It's simple, and complicated, all at once. In a word; depression. Had it for as long as I can remember. Have recently had very effective treatment against it, so the depression itself has gone away, kind of.

See, depression isn't sadness. It's not sitting in a corner being sad. Nobody who met me would ever suspect that I'm depressed, including, troublingly (if there ever was such a word) enough, counselors. Depression is your brain just being devoid of joy, enthusiasm, all the good stuff. It's like being in an emotional dampening field.

But then, when that went away, it was replaced by intensely feeling bad. Like I am actually worthless, and that life is, for lack of a better term, hell.

Now why am I writing about this on an internet forum in the middle of the night? Well, that's just part of the enigma that is life, isn't it?

 

I like going to the gym people... I mean... Just incase anyone answers no, going to the gym or running is 'what I would call' a natural high. - If you can't afford to go to a gym, I think running is almost always free, running and of course stretching (I'd hate to run if I never stretched first)...

 

You're on to something here, because, honestly, I love life because;

I like that I play guitar and I like where I'm at 'with my guitar playing' at the moment, which is a really cool place to be right.
And, yes, when I'm working out at the gym or even sitting on my own in a night club after a session at a the gym feeling so cool, I think/remember about my life and that I play guitar and, yeah feels pretty awesome to me when I remember that.

Rockin' body, rocking out my style (nice guitar), being me, yeah Man!

 

I'm alright. And hope those who feel bad get better. Glad fro those who are ok.

 

Mine is going great, over the hill and enjoying life

 

Plus I'm British too!
From London
The fun parts of London too

I am blessed lol.

I feel like an American on holiday in England, but I'm not, I'm British (hence I said holiday and not vacation), so, yeah, whatever, feels great though.
(Delusions are funny).

But yeah, I feel like a tourist and I love it, then I remember my day job (agency worker, flexible work, I only work when I need to pay a bill and I have no student loan or grant left)... and I remember all the buildings I've worked on, blood sweat ect, I've built this city lol...

Still, feels great being me, and I like my neighbours too.

 

Not being in my comfort zone...

That's my secret.

Spoiler

So, y'know, running, climbing up ladders and scaffolding (I hate heights)...
Also, going on my own half way across the world to a place that isn't a tourist hot spot but because I want to.

 

@ALFORCE
I feel like your avatar.

I feel like Slash (from Guns N' Roses), I feel Rick Sanchez ect ect ect... Sometimes I even feel like a hot British chick, and times I thank the Lord for giving me a real life working penis, but whoever I feel like, I'm always me.
Me:

 

I decided to ditch life and have an adventure.

 

When I quit s

I've had this. And you described it very well. Keep seeing a professional. Try jogging...the pain /pleasure of going past your limit and catching second wind ...kicks in the endorphens. I took meds and after feeling better would stop taking them and 4 or five days later would crash and burn. It takes a while for that stuff to stop and start working...

 

Life is good because I enjoy being alive. Thats all there is to it. Maybe its a curiosity of whats going to happen next, a fear of being not alive, or I just got lucky and have the right chemical balance. Not certain. But I've never been able to honestly say I regret existing, even when things are at their worst. If all else fails and I lose everything/everyone, I can always hitch a ride, stow away or just walk somewhere else and try again.

Life is always good, even when its bad.

I sispect this is rooted in my introversion. I've always been able to content myself, not needed anyone or anything else. Im noticing that this is rare.

 

Lame.

 

If you're planning on visiting Hollywood, a warning.

All of those girls you see on Hollywood Blvd aren't really girls.

 

Life doesn't have to have some "meaning" to be worthwhile.

 

Nothing means anything. All things will pass. The only thing that matters is now. That's all we have.

Please recycle.

 

I recycle some things. Other things I rather enjoy destroying. #YOLO

 

Bubble wrap.

 

I need to find some. I refuse to buy it. Have to send my brand new phone I dropped and shattered the screen in to get my money back.

 

I agree about the jogging - there's seems to be something therapeutic about it; maybe it has something to do with the rhythm. As to 'professionals' - it's difficult to tell who's a professional and who's a charlatan: there's a lot of money in pretending that it's possible to read someone else's mind.

 

If the screen's shattered there's no point in using bubble wrap to sent it back is there Decky? I mean what more can happen to it?

 

Because they said to but your point is well taken. Maybe it protects the battery. Didn't say anything one way or the other about the charger so not sure if I should keep it or not.

 

My good wishes that there's a turn-around for you, and that it's just around the corner. Try and think positively mate.

 

Decisions, decisions?? If anything happened to my phone I'd just chuck it away and replace it with another one. It will only cost me £12.