Need a good holiday song for office party

I have a dilemma. I need to lead my office in a holiday song on Dec. 7. It can't be religious, or too Christmas-y, because Christmas is too far in the future.

"Winter Wonderland" is absolutely perfect, eminently singable, and fun, but it has the word "Eskimo" in it, and that's as problematic as the N word. I don't want any controversy. Did I mention I hate modernity?

"Sleigh Ride" is super great, but it's hard unless you practice, and we can’t practice it together because I and the song I pick for the singalong are a surprise.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty are good, but sorta infantile.

White Christmas is too serious and solemn.

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree I like, but it's too Christmas-y; the party is December 7. All the religious songs like Joy to the World and Silent Night are too serious and too religious.

What would you do?

I thought about doing Winter Wonderland and just omitting the verse with the word Eskimo. I notice some online versions of the lyrics have already nixed that verse.

 

Let's just outlaw fun altogether.Cancel the party and replace it with a Diversity Training class. No fun allowed.

 

How bout a holiday song about WW1? Its sorta Christmasy, but its really more about the war...

 

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Im 100% agnostic, but O Holy Night is the best Christmas song, ever, and in a week or so, my husband will get daily reminders.

Christian Christmas music can be poetic and beautiful.

The fact that we have offensive Christmas music is all we need to know about today.

 

Thanks, I agree, but anything religious won't work in this context.

 

I also like "Let it Snow," but the party director doubts that it's as well known. She's right. Plus it has "when we finally kiss goodnight," and then we have sexual workplace harassment lawsuits by asking others to sing it, same as Baby it's Cold Outside, PLUS we will offend the asexual community who don't ever kiss and don't want to be marginalized, plus we're advocating the spread of flu and Covid so I'll have the CDC on my ass.

A three-fer.

You see why I hate modernity?

 

Joni Mitchell River

 

Great song, but it won't work. It's in a minor key, sad, and it's about getting away as opposed to congregating.

Thanks.

 

We're already there.

Which takes me back to Sleigh Ride. It's a bear to sing if you do it right, but I can do no other.

 

How about the "I don't wanna work" song

 

Yes, that's a contender. "Mix and a-mingle with the jinglin' feet" fills me with horror for some reason.

Thanks.

How do you feel about that word "Eskimo"? Would you flinch when it came to that line? ("We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, walkin' in a winter wonderland.")

 

Would it count if it was a religious song, but not in english?

 

That sounds like something DuhSantis would do, except he'd replace it with a requirement that you'd have to train in a way that wouldn't make white christians feel sad.

 

I'd get in trouble when asked for the translation. But what did you have in mind?

Shtill Shtill Shtill?

 

Silver Bells, O Christmas Tree, Hardrock Coco and Joe

 

You're thinking too hard about this. Nobody is going to ask for a translation.

 

I think that's a good bet for one that doesn't suck and isn't very offensive. Can't your project the lyrics on the wall or something? Let it Snow is not nearly as bad as Baby it's cold outside which is basically a date rape song, lol. "say what's in this drink?"

I don't know if I'd worry about Eskimo unless there will be people you don't know there or who you think would specifically feel offended.

I'd vote for Winter Wonderland so far. Maybe if you can project the lyrics just cross out eskimo and put inuit or some clean version, lol. Same number of syllables.

 

“I don’t wanna work, I wanna sing Christmas carols all day!”

 

That is one tough assignment, you were given-- a holiday yuletide tune, which should have well-known lyrics, not require practicing, and yet not be too Christmasy-- your boss must really like you. Seriously, this sounds as if it is not even a real scenario, but only the setup for some argument. Those conditions really limit your choices, to the point that you are being too finicky, to let "mix and a-mingle with the jingling feet," give you pause. I'm not crazy about "Jingle Bell Rock," but if you think that "Sleigh Ride," is too difficult, without practice, and you're worried, in "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" (which, I'll remind you, has the line about conspiring by the fire, which sounds more suggestive, to me, than jingling feet) about the word "Eskimo" (though unless you have Inuit co-workers, I don't think you should need worry about that one, either)-- your options are dwindling.

One thing that I could use a little clarifying on: if "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," is too Christmasy, I would have to assume that any mention of Xmas is a deal breaker, but for "White Christmas," you cite the disqualifier as it's being "too serious and solemn," which is not how I'd describe it, but my question is, so the word Xmas is allowable, just not Xmas trees? I think "Merry Little Christmas," is a lovely little song, albeit not a real lively one. What about "Silver Bells?" After that, we're pretty much down to "Over the River and Through the Woods," or this one:

 

Stairway, backwards….

 

You could maybe suggest a song for me instead of being argumentative. Anyway they of course will ask what the song is about.

 

That's not "argumentative"; it's good advice.

You're welcome.

BTW, others will be filled with the holiday spirit. They'll be forgiving of your song choice.

 

I'm going to go ahead and take a wild guess that he knows his audience better than you do.