I see the Queen and Julia Gillard shared tea and scones this arvo.... I snuck in behind them with my tape recorder, which picks up conversations in the next suburb....heres the transcript.... Queen: Well Jools, how are things going, being the first female PM down here. JG: OOrrhh, we're buggered, Liz, absolutely buggered... Queen:What do mean my dear... JG: Well, its like this Liz...that bloody Tony Abbott is stuffing all my plans for a dictatorship...he wont even agree to my gig for the boat people... Queen: Why dont you blow the (*)(*)(*)(*)ers up Jools, before they even land... JG: Naah...there'd be hell to pay from the do-gooders Liz...want another scone Ya Majesty....(passes scones) Queen...Yeaahh, its a bloody problem...but he does look cute in those budgy smugglers... JG: Yes...I saw Bob spying on him the other day... Queen: What about the economy Jools...hows it going... JG...Stuffed, Liz (pauses as she farts)....we owe every bastard money... Queen: Hhmmmm...(reaches into her purse and pulls out a tenner) Will this help... JG: Thanks Liz...Ill put it towards the repair bill on the house...even the (*)(*)(*)(*)ing guttering has (*)(*)(*)(*) itself...and I cant get a decent plumber to fix the dunny... Queen: Yeeh, its hard to get good help these days...(farts again) Queen: What about the poker machines...jools..(helps herself to another scone) JG: Jesus...dont start on that, for christs sake....bloody Wilkie is a pain in the arse...next thing you know he wont even let Magoo have a bet on the Cox Plate... Queen: Who's Magoo JG: Oooh, you know...that bastard thats always backing winners....I think he's backing Glass Harmonica and Browns mate...Secret Admiration or some bloody thing...bloody helmet head.... Queen: Anyway Jools...Ill gunna take a slash and get back to work... I've gotta put new batteries in my vibrator....
Seriously, I mean, seriously, could you imagine HM getting up after tea and scones and saying that.....hhhmmm
NOT ONLY THAT! But when queenie got up & turned around to go for a squirt, judas wouldn`t be able to resist getting her mits on queenies buns & scones while queenie`s back was turned, even if she had given her solemn word not to. I don`t think queenie knows what a fork tongue judas is.
Stay tuned for my final update of the Royal visit....I just got off the phone from my mate, Mannangatang Mick...apparently they're gunna invite me down for a schooner or two with the Dook...(Phillip...not John Wayne)...
