Ask a Transperson anything about what it means to be Transgender

I appreciate your kind words, Cy. They mean a lot to me.

Please don't allow the DISINFORMATION about sports and bathrooms MISLEAD you.

It is NOT as big an issue as you imagine. In fact it is so small as to be insignificant in your life. The odds are you already have someone in your life who is a transperson.

I have to disagree with you there, Cy.

As someone with BOTH sides I can tell you that women EXPRESS their emotions and men REPRESS theirs and that is one of the most SIGNIFICANT differences between the sexes. Women EXPECT men to be able to read their emotions the same way that other women can and are frustrated when that doesn't happen. Men expect women to NOT be emotional and are frustrated when that doesn't happen. I have literally seen both sides of that happening right in front of my own eyes.

So if you are someone who has that same ability I recommend that you make the most of it and you will be surprised by what a difference it makes when you start exploring your "female side".

Please let me know if you do decide to do it and the best of luck.

 

Not readily available but I do have a REAL LIFE experience. A friend's friend's 4 yr old son told his Mom he doesn't want to be a boy and likes wearing dresses. So she went with it, let him wear what he wanted and next thing you know she posts on face book "announcing my DAUGHTER" (complete with new girl name). Does someone that young really know what they want to be? That kid is going to be MESSED UP. So if she already changed his identity, you don't think he's gonna be given drugs at some point? What's gonna happen later in life to this poor kid? What if the kid realizes he likes girls later in life but is too far gone by that point.
IMO, this decision should be made later at life. They are either gonna get a boner looking at women, men, or BOTH and can decide this stuff for THEMSELVES when they are old enough.

 

It will follow a natural progression as more is learned and integrated into society. As you well know, there are going to be people stuck in the headlights pushing back no matter what. This is why it's important for us to remain mindful that we are a collective whole and each one of us contributes to that, even the people that don't look or love like we do.

 

Men are, pound for pound, typically stronger and faster than women so in regards to sports where strength and speed is a factor, biological males do have an unfair advantage. I coached high school wrestling for 18 years and girls were able to participate on the boys teams. In those 18 years there was only ONE girl who could consistently win against boys. Every other girl was lucky to last a full six minutes. Hell, most didn't make it past the first minute of the first period. The boys were just much stronger and faster.

 

I have a question. You are my 'elder' in a way and I feel like because of the generation gap there is a 'disconnect' between us. With that said;
1. How do you view your transition compared to the younger trans people of today?
2. How does your ideas about gender reflect to the ideas about gender of today as well?

 

It was like that when I was in the police academy. The benchmarks were different based on gender. There is a thread around here somewhere in which people were discussing women failing military testing in bootcamp, IIRC.

 

Bravo!

You are right about the very attitudes expressed in this forum being toxic. I remember a couple of years ago on this very forum discussing this same topic that I made a comment to the effect of "if I'm sexually attracted to someone but they were trangendered, it wouldn't change my opinion or attraction to them." Sure enough, that created a list of posts calling me gay and a bunch of other juvenile comments, except for one person who admired me being open about it. Overall, the pushback is extremely unpleasant and cruel.

I consider myself heterosexual, but I do have a fondness for some trans women. Maybe I'm pansexual, maybe not. I don't really care about the labels. What I care about is the quality of someone's character. During this past year while in lockdown, I've really thought a lot about this. Life is too short to live with these mental fences and prejudices.

I applaud you for being so open and courageous about this because the riff-raff around here can be purposefully ignorant and vicious.

 

It has always boggled my mind why people are so interested in other people's sexuality and/or sex lives. I can barely manage my own business. Who has time to be in somebody else's?

For about two years now, I've been receiving anonymous texts from someone calling me every name in the book. I'm not curious or concerned enough to delve into finding out who it is simply because I consider them to be cowards. Come to my front door and say it to my face. I can't win every fight in the universe but I feel very confident I could take on anybody childish enough to do such a thing. I'm sure it's probably killing them that they can't get a response from me.

I'm glad you did not let those mean comments hurt you. All you need to do is be happy with who you see in the mirror.

 

I think the movie American Beauty nailed it with the Col Fitts character. Now, I'm not saying every person who acts ignorant towards homosexuals is gay or has had some level of attraction to the same sex but I'm betting there's a fair share of them. Why else are they so bothered by people who aren't heterosexual?

 

Because they are undermining the culture with their narcissistic tendencies.

 

Then the culture must be very fragile to be undermined by such a small group.

 

I suppose you could make the argument that the Col Fitts types of the world are undermining the culture with their narcissistic tendencies. I hadn’t really thought of it that way but you make an excellent point. Kudos to you my good man.

 

I must admit that I know very little about transgender issues but have noticed they are receiving more vitriol in the press lately. All the best to you and I shall be trying to increase my knowledge and understanding.

 

I think you are mistaken about that. Animals don't think like we do. You won't find, say, dogs that are sitting around worried about what their gender is.

If this is not a mental illness, why is the DSM even looking at it? Just wondering.

I know! But it also often boggles my mind why people want to put their sexuality out there for people to talk about. I mean it's really none of anyone else's business.

Personally, I congratulate the OP for explaining some of this, and having the courage to do so. It's a free country, at least for the time being, and I don't really have any interest in what other people do or don't do, so long as it doesn't trample on my rights. My personal opinion is that true trans is a very small portion of the population. It has, unfortunately, become trendy in certain circles, which is why I use the term "true trans." It is always morally wrong, in my opinion, to be unkind, but laws should not be made to favor small minorities, if they trample the rights of the majority. I do not believe that children should be given any sort of physical treatments, as confusion is pretty much a part of life for the under aged. When they turn of age, they can do whatever they want without worry about anyone's opinion except their own.

Probably not the right forum for this, but I watched Caitlyn Jenner's interview on Hannity, and am really impressed with her. She seems to have values that coincide with mine and appears to be a pretty marvelous person. I would vote for her and I hope Californians do! I really respect that she will answer questions and explain about her trans thing if asked, as the OP does, but doesn't make it her entire identity or an "issue."

 

True. Just as you won’t find dogs sitting around worried about other dogs gender.

 

Could you source that the DSM-5 has stated that the diagnosis of gender dysphoria is not a mental illness. That is not noted at the American Psychiatric Association's page on Gender Dysphoria.

What Is Gender Dysphoria?

It describes it as a "psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity. " That seems fair, but how is that NOT a mental illness? Isn't that we we refer to as a psychiatric condition? It's not an insult to describe a mental illness as a...mental illness.

 

Yes it is. Civilization is fragile, barbarism robust.

 

Did you cut it off or not?

Wouldn't that be the first step to transition?

 

First of all this thread starts off with a Strawman, i.e., a political agenda to demonize transgenders.

I don't care what someone claims to identify as.

What I object to is gender reassignment surgery for minors. I object to a dude with a male appendage taking showers with girls. Who wants their daughter subjected to that in school. I object to males with natural testosterone and male athletic attributes competing in sports with girls and women. I object to the school system trying to brainwash and confuse kids as to what sex they are. And I object to protected classes being created to piggyback onto Civil rights legislation. Anyone who has been a supervisor or manager knows there is more than sufficient tip towing around problem employees, for fear of an EEO complaint, as it is.

 

Liberalism. A picture is worth a thousand words.

 

I find this extremely hard to believe. In fact,
Trans women retain athletic edge after a year of hormone therapy

Transgender Women in the Female Category of Sport: Perspectives on Testosterone Suppression and Performance Advantage

"The pioneer work by Gooren and colleagues, published in part in 1999 [61] and in full in 2004 [62], reported the effects of 1 and 3 years of testosterone suppression and estrogen supplementation in 19 transgender women (age 18–37 years). After the first year of therapy, testosterone levels were reduced to 1 nmol/L, well within typical female reference ranges, and remained low throughout the study course. As determined by MRI, thigh muscle area had decreased by − 9% from baseline measurement. After 3 years, thigh muscle area had decreased by a further − 3% from baseline measurement (total loss of − 12% over 3 years of treatment). However, when compared with the baseline measurement of thigh muscle area in transgender men (who are born female and experience female puberty), transgender women retained significantly higher thigh muscle size. The final thigh muscle area, after three years of testosterone suppression, was 13% larger in transwomen than in the transmen at baseline (p < 0.05). The authors concluded that testosterone suppression in transgender women does not reverse muscle size to female levels."

 

I read your comment earlier and completely forgot to come back to it. It's been a long day.

I have never seen that movie but I get the idea from your post.

I believe that people are afraid of the unknown. It's just easier to process the world if one never has to move outside their comfort zone. So, what we see as anger, intolerance, hatred, etc. toward X (race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc.) is really a mask for "not knowing". This only becomes a problem when one refuses to learn and understand others. That makes the foundation for prejudice.

My parents and my former in-laws are prejudiced and homophobic. In their world, believing those beliefs is just "normal". I'm considered "the crazy one". Personally, I don't have enough friends to start culling the herd by excluding other races and people with different sexuality. No, seriously, I just think prejudice is ridiculous. Life is way too short to walk around hating a percentage of society that doesn't look or love like you.

 

Something we actually agree on. Well said.

 

My post is more about bathrooms, than transgenderism, but there is a real impracticality in your suggestion. Do you know that it can be very difficult finding a bathroom, in Manhattan (especially w/o patronizing a restaurant)? So a number of years ago the city started working with a company that made very nice, pay porta-johns. It was a win for the city, who didn't need to pay for them, a win for all the New Yorkers & visitors who could find a place to relieve themselves, that was sanitary & legal, and a win for the company, because of all the fees they would collect from this untapped market (sorry-- pun intended).

But there was a problem: the standard porta-john was not handicapped-accessible. The company DID MAKE a larger, handicapped-accessible model, but it was much more expensive, and would be expected to generate much less revenue; essentially it was a loss for the company. Nevertheless, it had reached agreement with the city that 1 of every, let's say, 6 porta-johns would be one of these handicapped-accessible ones. That is still, proportionally speaking, far more of that type toilet for the segment of population which might use them.

Do you know that some group, "representing," the handicapped community, threatened to bring a discrimination lawsuit, unless handicapped porta-johns were on a one-to-one basis, w/ the able-bodied potties (which were unisex)? But doing this, would make the venture no longer sufficiently profitable for the company, to warrant the investment. And the city didn't want to risk being sued. So NOBODY got any of these pay-bathrooms...and I know a wall near St. Mark's that has a stick figure drawn upon it, connected by a dotted, slightly arched line, to a squiggley, somewhat circular shape at its feet, the entire hieroglyph surrounded by a big circle, with a slanted line bisecting it, through its center, which I had to look at for a few moments (while peeing, in what seemed the least conspicuous/best concealed spot on the street) before realizing that I was mirroring, in 3 dimensions, the depiction: seeing my first-- and still, only-- No Peeing signage.

Take from that, what you will.

 

Why? It's simple. A guy is born with a dick and bigger bones. A girl is born with a vigina thus she can have periods, babies and also has a uterus.


I refer to men as men and woman as woman.

Bruce Jenner will always be a he. Changing his name won't change that fact nor will hacking off his dick if he did so.