Men Unite to Stand Against Violence Towards Women

Yes and assault is also a crime however, when it comes to punishment, men are more heavily punished because men are superior in strength to women. Just as a big guy will always look guiltier than a short thin guy in a scuffle. It really is human nature to root for the perceived underdog.

Yet the women's movement has sought to be 'equal' to men. Even to the point of a woman demanding to be firefighters, front-line soldiers and now demanding to be football players on professional teams. How long can the women's movement claim women are just as strong as men and play the shrinking violet role when it comes to domestic issues?

I would suggest that women get together and do some soul searching as to just why the male 'bad boy' image is so enticing to their little girls. Maybe even teach them to choose a guy worthy of them...Of course...They have to FEEL worthy in the first place....That's where Dad comes in...but...for some reason, women don't seem to demand much before giving out privileges.

 

A few years ago I startet a topic "Are feminists men haters" and had a discussion there with JavaBlack, I can link to, if any doubts. A discussion about a law of the former feminist government of Spain under Zapatero. There passed a law concerning domestic violence, which included a higher punishment for males, if their violence is turned against females.
Although he was not convinced of such kind of law, he tried to defend it with all the arguments feminists list, that male vs. female violence is much more (he told me of somthing like 98% I think, here are completely different stistics cited, not matter what's the right statistic, the argument stays the same) and that it is most often much more dangerous and serious than female vs. male violence. I answered to that, that these are no valid arguments to me, because I don't see a reason to give women who committ the same kind of crime less severe punishments than men, no matter if one woman, ten women or hundred women commit such crimes at all. The second argument, that violence of men is much more devastating, may be an average value, but it is ridiculous to use it as a basic for a law, because no one demands and no judge will handle a short slap in the face of the husband in outrage equal to a case in which the husband beat up his wife and broke all her bones. For that every law has a minimum and a maximum punishment, the sense of the law is that equal crimes are to be treated differently in dependence from the gender of the offender and the victim.

These laws implements a different acceptance of violence in partnerships, violence of females against males is more accepted than vice versa. Violence in a homosexual partnership is as well more acceptable. An interesting topic by the way, I did never see and I will never see one of these feminist acitivists for the protection of wmen making a statement about violence in Lesbian partnerships. The only interest of feminists I read is to keep silence about that topic, which exists and according to Lesbians I talked to they think just as often as in heterosexual relationships (dont know if they have numbers or if its their impression).

For me these feminists in Spain are the same kind of people who want to establish race laws because of crime statistics, in which from time to time migrants dominate in certain crimes. I don't know the personal attitude of every women's rights activist, but of course many of them fight for a double standard, which they define as gender equality.

 

was thinking the same thing, sounds sexist, domestic violence should be condemned no mater the sex of the abuser

 

How is it sexist when the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men on women? Unless it's different in the US, but in Australia, the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men on women.

It is not sexist to highlight the serious problem of domestic violence when the majority of victims are women.

A thousand men united to stand against violence towards women. That is not sexist. That is a thousand men advocating and standing against any man who would be violent to a woman.

That is a wholly positive stance. And commendable.

 

How is it sexist when the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men on women? Unless it's different in the US, but in Australia, the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men on women.

It is not sexist to highlight the serious problem of domestic violence when the majority of victims are women.

A thousand men united to stand against violence towards women. That is not sexist. That is a thousand men advocating and standing against any man who would be violent to a woman.

That is a wholly positive stance. And commendable.

 

I doubt your point about men - yes they are victims but I don't think the rates compare. But the opposition to dv is gender neutral.

 

One person's experiences aren't that good for generalisation but they're all I can come up with. In my police career - thinking back over a few years now - I have attended at dv jobs and many of the still stand out in my memory. I'm pretty sure I never go to attend a female biffing male job. I locked up a young bloke for belting his old man, I locked up a female for belting another female (lesbian relationship) and plenty of men for belting women, but I think I would have remembered a call from a bloke claiming his wife belted him. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it does, plenty of blokes will admit that anonymously that they have had a whack or worse from their wife (I've missed a flying frying pan once or twice myself). But the predominance is among men on women. That's because we blokes are a bit weak on the verbal strength and are probably inclined more to striking out than nagging. Not that it's an excuse.

Anyway - from something I wrote somewhere else a while ago a true story from my outback policing days.

 

I appreciated hearing from a police perspective, thank you. I have stories, too, but from a different side of the equation that I will post. And unfortunately with a very bad experience with policemen as a child. Perhaps I was unlucky to get the wrong policemen, I don't know. But I know that it affected and coloured me opinion a great deal as a child. I wish I had come by a policeman such as yourself.

It is a window on a decade so different to this one. In the 70s, domestic violence, I really think, was treated as something that didn't happen -- so that when it did happen -- there wasn't any proper infrastructure in place deal with it. Thankfully there is now. There were no safe houses (refuges) and I don't think domestic violence was treated 'seriously' then. With sometimes tragic repercussions. The story you posted was tragic. And so sad. That poor woman. He snuffed out her life.

 

A story from me:

As a small child, it took about half an hour to convince a policeman over the phone I wasn't making a prank call, and that my father would kill my mother if they didn't hurry. My father was out of control, punching my mother non-stop in the stomach right up until two policemen knocked at the door. Then my father feigned a charming demeanour for the policemen and they were convinced there was no trouble at my home. My mother was hysterical, she was frantically showing the policemen the bruises all over her body, she showed them the red weeping welts from my father's belt, she showed them the empty spaces in her mouth where my father had knocked out her teeth. The policemen ignored her. The policemen ignored me, too - a small child of about eight, trying desperately to interpret for my mother whose English was poor. The policemen were convinced my father was a nice bloke. That was hard to take as a child.

My very serious nighmares didn't start until I was about ten. They were serious before then, but they grew worse. It was when my father screamed he was going to kill us in our beds while we were asleep, and that he was going to bury us in the backyard so that no one would ever find out. That's when the serious nightmares started and when I became an insomniac...

My father beat my mother, my sister, and me to a pulp. And all the time. There was one day when I was about twelve, when my father whipped my head so viciously with a strap, that I was mortified he would brain damage me. He didn't stop whipping me until I went entirely limp and my light went out and my spirit left. Then he looked satisfied... if that can be believed... I know I couldn't believe it.

I was very fortunate to have had some very good therapy later on in life. I needed it. Because I had a father that threatened to kill me and squash me and obliterate me every other day. I found a wonderful, benevolent, kind and empathic male therapist to help me sort through a very shocking start to life.... growing up with a father who was intent on murder all the time.

I started trying to protect my mother from my father's abuse, starting from about the age of four. If someone had handed me a gun when I was four and shown me how to use it, I would have used it on my father. Because I wanted the violence to end. But the violence didn't end. The violence continued unabated and shockingly violent until I was the age of fourteen.

You would never see a woman anywhere that had a broken spirit as broken as my mother's spirit was. My father smashed my mother's spirit into tiny fragments. He was barbaric, despotic. He is still alive and never spent a day in jail.

 

Dont want to stick my nose into other people affairs, but I am curious. So, if you dont want to answer simply dont answer:

How did this go on? When were you able to leave this household and how did your mother and your sister manage to escape the griff of your father?

Its off topic, just curious.

 

That's a harrowing tale Gwendoline. Unfortunately the prevailing attitude amongst police - formally and informally - for many years was as you've described it. Not much help now to you but these days the victim only has to make the allegation and if there is evidence supporting the allegation then the offender will be locked up. The court can decide on the issues when they are presented. Back then a court usually didn't get a chance.

 

I posted a long reply to your questions but my post was lost in a forum glitch. So this time around I will just condense my reply.

I don't consider you sticking your nose into my affairs at all. I don't mind answering anything.

How did this go on? Do you mean, what eventuated?

I ran away from home a number of times but the police would find me and send me home. No one asked me why I ran away from home and when I tried to explain I was told to shut up. I was a 'minor' and I was treated as a child deviant for running away from home. I was able to get away from my father when my much older brother started working and rented a unit and one day while my father was at work, my brother, mother and I moved out. I was fourteen. My mother was a very broken woman by that time. She'd suffered violent abuse all her married life.

Better I don't speak for my sister's grief. She is actually a member of this forum and one day she may want to answer that question herself.

 

Violence by female partners against male partners is a valid point. But there is more - and that is the issue of domestic violence among lesbians:

http://www.curvemag.com/Curve-Magazine/Web-Articles-2010/Lesbian-on-Lesbian-Rape/

http://www.rmdglobal.net/she-stole-my-voice/


While it is good to see those men mentioned by OP as taking a public stand against rape, others need to take the same stand against other forms of rape.

 

Just wanted to say, that I understood if you did not like to talk about ist, some have no problem to tell about their private life, some dont like it.

Are your siblings (you mention a sister and a much older brother) all the kids of your violent father? Did your older brother talk to you about his experiences and was he treated as bad as you and your sister? How did your mother got to know him and was he ever different or was he just able to mask himself with friendliness and charme like he did with the police officers?

 

I have a tendency, like many of us, not to disclose private life information, but on the subject of domestic violence, I know a lot about it because of my childhood. It's not something I've read but something I've lived. And I can speak of it.

We were three kids. My father never touched my brother. My father bashed women and girl children. This was southern Italian style demeaning of women taken to a violent extreme by my father. My brother might as well have lived in a different house since his experiences were the opposite of mine. He was left alone to study in his room with the door shut... while violence was going on all around. I couldn't study because I was always scared of when my mother, my sister or me would be bashed again. Growing up as kids, my brother never get involved, maybe because he was never being attacked, I don't know. But he came good in the end and helped us get out of that house. I was different in that I was always trying to protect my mother from a very young age. From a very young age, my spirit knew what was right, and it didn't matter how little I was - I had to try to help my mother. I couldn't NOT help her. It was instinctive, somehow.

My mother didn't get to know him. It was an arranged marriage, southern Italian style. My father's attitude was that he owned us. Also he was obsessed with getting respect. He thought he could bash respect out of us. He was never charming in the family home, but he was when he stepped out of the house. A veritable Jekyl and Hyde.

My mother was gentle, loved poetry. Loved music and had a sensitive nature. She wasn't equipped to handle horrific violence, and I mean, who is equipped to handle extreme violence? She went to the Catholic priest in desperation who told her to stay with her husband because he had problems and she had to support him... in other words, to stay with him and be his punching bag... Her own mother didn't think it was right for her to leave her husband... and her sisters looked the other way and didn't get involved. She felt she had nowhere to turn to for help. And plus he'd broken her spirit to the point she was like an empty shell with no volition any more.

Glucksritter, thank you for your interest and your questions. I might stop here though, with my private stuff. But thank you.

 

Thank you for your response, when I hear of such a story, I sometimes tend to get curious and try to make an image of the whole situation. So I came from one question to another. I am quite impressed how to get over such experiences in your childhood and organizing your life afterwards. Sometimes children are very sensitive for the emotions of adults and see when their mother e.g. needs help.

 

Because we all know that males are generally bigger and stronger and more dominant by nature which gives them a physical advantage even though we have to turn around and pretend we don’t know this anymore when feminists get angry that women can’t meet the necessary standards to acquire certain jobs that are typically held by men since men are the primary people who can meet those standards. We’re basically selectively choosing when we want to see women as weak and helpless and when we want to see them as equal. Which is ridiculous. You’re either equal or you’re not. You can’t just be equal when it’s convenient.

But don't you think it's a bit sexist that this is a women's rights section instead of a gender rights section? If you guys are equal, then surely you don't want special treatment. Where are men supposed to voice their grievances? Should we make a suggestion to the admins of the site to include a men's rights section too?

 

No, I think we should just get rid of the Women's Rights section. I've suggested it numerous times:

http://www.politicalforum.com/womens-rights/246302-rename-womens-rights-section-get-rid.html

 

Tried to read that post, but I have an allergy to prejudice... so I had to turn back.

 

Violence against women is obviously wrong, but why not oppose all violence, not selected types? Is it because violence against men is so highly valued as entertainment, in this world of equality?

 

Glad to hear it. Personally I would rather see a stand against violence in general but I'll take what I can get.

 

The fact is that the battle of the sexes in whatever form it takes will always side with the woman, i.e. with women's rights, as opposed to the fact that men have zero rights when up against the fairer sex. I have a couple of decades of experience in fighting for my rights when confronted with alimony, child support, visitation, phony abuse claims, dealing with liberal judges etc in that highly biased and liberal state of Taxachusetts when Michael Dukakis was governor.

 

(*)(*)(*)(*), just more limits on my freedom. When are you people ever going to stop?

 

And yet you want to put women on the front lines of battle?
Sorry, it seems like you feminists are trying to eat your cake and still have it too.

 

No, that would be knuckling under to whiny men who have had the advantages of being male for 10,000 years....and now they cry and blubber if they perceive a slight imbalance. (Wahhhhh, women got that giant forum in a chat room and we didn't wahhhhhhh!)

The reason there are "Women's Rights" is because WOMEN have been denied rights that men have automatically had forever.