at 30, where the hell are single women?

So I met this girl at the bar; cute, smart, we get along great and talk/text for hours. After meeting/texting on and off for 4 weeks she tells me she has a boyfriend. Thought she would have mentioned him by now bur whatever. I say something about there being no single women at the bar to which she replies "well where are they?" I was hoping that she had the answer!

Ive had bad luck with finding single girls, and not for lack of effort; I go out pretty regularly. Im also on the net sending messages. The problem is that when I go out there are no single women there, and when I messenge them on the net they check out my page but dont respond.

Apparently Im a catch. Im 6'3", little ponch but still good looking, veteran, have a career, own a house, great friends, but Im not able to find single women. Im curious if anyone else here has had this issue and where the hell they found girls to talk to who werent already taken. The bars and the net dont work, nor do I get the easy route of friends (we are a tight group), job (Im a software engineer), or church (not religious). What other venues are there?

 

Craigslist. You are either so full of yourself that you expect women to fall at your feet or you are so shy that you are afraid to make the move. It took you 4 weeks to find out she had a BF? Dude, you will spend the rest of your 30's in the friendzone and your 40's in "We think he might be gay but it would rude to ask" zone. You need to put it out there.

 

I suspect that you haven't done anything for 4 weeks so she ditched you.
She probably liked you to waste a month of dating but as surprising as it sounds women need sex more than we do and it is disrespectful not to provide it.

 

Actually she was in California for 2 weeks then when she can back we met up again. She mentioned it after I tried to get her to another bar.

Edit: believe me there was no waste, I showed interest and was pretty clear.

 

So she shopped a man in Cali ? how interesting !
Still 3 dates and no sex is kind of cruel .

Since you live in a city and not in a tiny village i guess you have spotting issues : single women look uncertain and listen to horrible music, i hope this helps.

 

Ah, thread isnt even about her. Thread is about me trying to figure out where single women are at. I dont know what she does and as nice as it would be to actually get her out somewhere she isnt the issue; its finding women who are single in the hopes of finding another who is interesting.

 

Yes it is not about her but about you , i don't know how to say it without sounding rude but women do not like to even walk near guys that describe themselves as "a catch".

 

Thats what Im told, not how I discribe myself. That said I know given a group of single women I could find a girl, they just are not there. It may be that she was just pulling my strings or if I read into it she is just nervous (her reason single girls dont go to bars). I dont know and while I like her Im not going to be strung along. Im ready to find the next one. Problem is finding her.

 

I don't know man. Believe me I wish I did. Most of the girls in my town have little to no self-respect, belligerent, and are stupid. The ones that aren't are involved with someone else.

 

I've been on Craigslist before just perusing through the personals. From what I've seen most of the guys are creepers and I don't see how any woman who knows better would want to wade through all that crap to try to find maybe one or two potentials.

 

I think the act of putting it out there has therapeutic value--makes you think about your game. Of course you won't really get anybody who is not a hooker, someone looking for a step-dad for their 5 kids they forget to mention, or some guy who thinks he is going to convince you to jump the fence.

 

Now this is funny. First off I don't expect anyone to fall at my feet and certainly am not so shy that I don't make a move. Her excuse is that she thought I knew she had a boyfriend because she thought I was a regular at the bar (in a way I am, but I don't really associate with the regulars). My guess is she is just jerking me around which happens, I've dealt with it before. My issue is that she is the second girl I've found in 6 months who was worth talking to and who I thought was single. I'm trying to find places where single women are at, not get into the issue with her.

I pretty much knew this would be a bust but was trying to see if anyone had any real advice on where to find women. Clearly it ended badly. Again though, I've found two girls in the last 6 months that (well I thought anyway) were single. That is the issue. It's not that I can't show interest or that I'm a complete jackass (may come off that way because I'm laying everything out in this thread) but that I simply cannot find women who are single. That is the point of this thread. BTW Craigslist and the internet is like a *******n candy store for women; say one thing wrong and you are out. Meeting face to face is the best. It's only then that you get an actual impression of each other. It's a two way street; I'm sure I can find some desperate woman or a gold digger but I want to find someone I actually have a connection with and enjoy being around. I'm not just trying to get laid, I can already do that if I want.

 

It is sort of true. When i was reading the post, same thing came to my mind, girl was frustrated and just to end the relationship she told that she already has the BF.
Girls are very wild and demanding these days. If you don't fulfill their demands they are ready to fly.

 

The thing is you list your location as Portland. Unless one lives in Portland, one isn't likely to know where the women hang out. In my area it is certain churches; certain bars; certain gyms; etc depending on what you want. when I lived elsewhere, parks and rec type events were a good place to meet folks. Also in my area, you would be getting long in the tooth for picking up women at bars unless you are looking to be Daddy #2 or want to creep on the co-eds. I guess if I had to say the best globally applicable place to pick up women, it would likely be BDubs.

I still think it is weird you did not get that info. Maybe she was jerking you around, but maybe she was testing the waters and you missed your chance. I am inclined to believe the latter.

 

Who knows, again she goes into needing to find someone else. I was looking for general ideas. The bad part about having a close group of friends is they only know each other, so it makes it difficult to meet people in a comfortable situation. I was just trying to see if there was something other than the bars where people gather. I guess not so it's back to the grind.

 

Bowling alleys.

 

At worst she was scared off. It's certainly not from a lack of interest; I was trying to get her to come out to different bars with me so we could talk together without the regulars around who all hovered around her. I think she just like the attention. Still end up texting all night every few nights, but that's either because her boyfriend doesn't pay attention to her or she wants to talk but not see me. Again, regardless, comes down to needing to find other women. I have no problem bull(*)(*)(*)(*)ting with her because she is fun to talk with, but I'm not sitting here holding out hope, I'm trying to find the next girl and see if things work with her, nor not then find the next, etc.

- - - Updated - - -

Really? Never thought about that. Shame the one down the street is closing down. Not a bad idea though.

 

Figure (*)(*)(*)(*) it, I'll just lay the whole story out with her since there is so much speculation:

First time I saw her:
I'm drunk, with a friend, at the only bar her and I have been at. We BS for a while but I'm hammered and the regulars are around her like flies. I wanted to get her number but was about to leave and she's in conversation with some guy. Bad timing.

Months later:
See her again, alone. She's messing with a crossword puzzle. I say "hey it's nice outside, want to come out back? I'll help you with that crossword." We're all there bull(*)(*)(*)(*)ting all night, exchange numbers, she tells me she is going to California Friday (it's Monday). Ends in a hug

Wed:
Send text, see if she want to meet up before hitting California, she responds Thur, is busy.

Week later:
Monday, see if she is back, tell her about the Blood Moon, see if she is down to go watch it. She is still in California. She then texts me at 10 or so and we text back and forth about the moon.

Week later:
See if she is back, she is not but back soon.

Tue:
See if she is back, she texts me that night after I'm asleep.

Wed:
Try to get her to another bar for black and tans. She squirrels around, ends up at the same bar we have been at. I join her after work. I have about 80% of her time. Ends in a hug. Got one close moment where I wanted to go for a kiss but she never looked up from the phone we were watching videos on. Also the guy with his arm around her chair was a bit of a trip out, though he was in his 60s (and yes she knew him).

Sun:
Try to get her out. This is when she tells me she has a boyfriend via text. We text all night.

A few other nights of constant texting. She is at the coast this weekend so nothing I can do. Wanted to invite her to a party which happens tomorrow but if she has a boyfriend I'm not trying to step on that (been there ended badly) and if she is trying to just be "text buddies" nothing I can do anyway.

So that's the deal. It wasn't for a lack of effort. Again it's not that I can't get a girl, it's the lack of opportunities that is killing me. That is the point of this post; to find new places to go to meet women. BTW she's 25.

 

We have a sort of yuppie/hipster alley that is a hybrid restaurant/club/lanes. Basically lanes with sofas/loveseats waitresses, etc. It is a pretty cool place to hang out and chat up strangers/meet new people as you wait. Just have to know which nights are the best nights. You can also meet people at the more traditional alley, but those are usually so packed with leagues, that you won't meet anybody on some nights unless you are in a league.

 

I hate hipsters. One of my co-workers asked if I was one and I died a little inside. He thought the button up shirt was a give away but the only reason I had it on was because it was laundry day. Anyway I know of a bowling alley on the way to work that I think is trying to do what you are talking about. I'll have to check it out. Worst case I can try to bowl over 75!

 

It wasn't the shirt so much as it was your skinny jeans and pink suede shoes.

 

Lol, more like regular jeans with a rolled cuff (something carried from the punk rock days) and shiny boots (something carried from the Army). One of the guys from India wears the damn skinny jeans and my god, looks like twigs easily snapped in half.

 

I see some guys walking around in low cut skinny jeans. You know, I would just walk around the grocery in my underwear before I would ever try that look. I just don't see how some of these folks can be as twiggy as a 12 year old girl when they are grown men, but they do it.