at 30, where the hell are single women?

Look at best, the very best, she has you on the back burner. And for clarity I have been there.

I went out with a girl once who did the same thing, though she didn't have a boyfriend. She only had time for me every so often. So I stopped calling and texting. Then one day about a month later she friended me on Facebook (this was before I closed my profile). I accepted it. Then a text came a day or two later. So we went out a few more times. It developed into a dating thing and it was nice. It ended when she moved.

Now why did she all of sudden start taking to me again. Because I was the back up guy. Now if I had not left her alone when I did, she would have never came back. Was she seeing someone else during that time, probably. Did it not work out, probably. And do I care, nope.

So buddy I have been in your shoes. It sucks when a girl strings you on, but at the same time you can take some control and not let her be your puppet master.

However, earlier in this thread, you mentioned touching her and her not responding. If a girl
is interested she responds. I think you need to date more which online dating will help you with. Reading body language is important in dating.

- - - Updated - - -

Well yeah. But does a girl want that to be her way of meeting YOU!

 

at my age not so much anymore...but yes, they're still receptive in a gym on their terms, they're in control, they decide when and if they want to interact, not the men...

 

I get you. Now that I know she has a boyfriend Im done. I cant see good things coming from it. I thought she just may have been nervious. She was acting interested when I was out with her but holding back. Now I know why. I just thought it was an attention thing at first.

 

Thats another concern I have with these pages. I smoke and Im not going to lie about that. I am prepared to quit, but at the moment it's ine of those few pleasures. Also difficult to be the only person not amoking when Im with friends, and I prefer meeting people at the smoking area because it's outside and not as loud or crowded as the rest of the bar.

 

Fat or lonely single moms. Not all single moms are fat.

 

When you get my age. A lot of women have kids or are divorced. As for the lonely part, well it takes a lot of a women to put herself out there on a dating site.

It takes a real secure man to marry a woman with a kid or kids, lots of responsibility there.

 

and likewise for a woman marrying a divorced man with kids, lots of potential hostility from the kids and the ex parent...having seen it a few times in my extended family it can get really ugly and stressful...my brother and his gf's solution was to keep their two homes and children separate, and still there was resentment and conflict...

 

at 30? they're at work. having lunch at chipotle, farmers market vendors, food truck drivers, hair saloonist, sales women, ect.

 

Truth be told, I have no interest in church ladies.

 

ROFLMAO

Truth be told, I always thought you were a woman.

Guess it was the phoebe.

 

oh phoebe, you are a strange duck.....

 

You have your standards. And I have mine.

 

I am very much married, and happily so.
But I am also an astute observer of human behaviors and public courting rituals.
In my observation, these are the places to hook up with single people;

Publix supermarket.
They may as well call it the suburban meat-market.
Even old guys like me get hit on in there.

Atlanta Bread Company.
Singles sit around the fireplace on couches and easy chairs, noodling on their wireless laptops, and looking for love.
Straight and gay singles. But mostly gay.

Books A Million.
Same as the above, but more of a straight crowd.

Art museum.
Any art museum, anywhere.
The romantic wanderers and cultured art appreciation crowd rub elbows, and they get lost in the reverie of times and colors long past. Love blossoms, and lust arises.
You can practically feel the estrogen and testosterone in the air, it is that tangible.

Live music festivals.
Get out there in the sun, put on your sunglasses, have fun, listen to the live jams, take notes on a small notepad (as though you might be writing for a music magazine submission) and do your best to look indifferent to women.
The less interested the better.
Detached, edgy, Ray Ban-wearing music critics are like catnip to single women.


Now, if you are really having a hard time meeting single women, apply for work as a guard or corrections officer at a women's prison.
Female inmates are practically starved for sex and attention, and they will pretty much drop their panties at a moment's notice for a pack of cigarettes, or a fresh copy of Inked magazine.
:v

 

Lol, I like the last one but I'm looking for something long term, not just a quick lay. I looked up where to go in Portland to find singles and got this the links that weren't dating sites pretty much described Portland as one of the worst places to find a girl. Lots of "gotta be macho man" bs in the comments, but the ones besides that were exactly what I've been seeing; girls don't want to talk/give no signals of interest, the bars a sausage fest, lots of big women. At least I'm not the only one who is seeing this. Also found this in the ratings of the top 110 cities in the US (by population):

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/02/07/best-and-worst-cities-to-find-love.html

#21, Portland, OR
Singles: D
Social life: B
Emotional health: A
Marriage: F
Divorce: B

Romantic hotspot: Iorio Restaurant

Unfortunately I'm stuck being that I have my friends here, a house, and a career. Back to the grind stone.

 

Is being single that bad? I remember liking it quite a lot! I wouldn't trade what I have now, but I was still happy before, and didn't really feel a need to be in a serious relationship. In fact, I think one reason why my fiancee and I have a solid relationship, is due to the fact that neither one of us was looking for a relationship... it happened randomly and progressed naturally. We met online in a chatroom BTW.

Also, be careful what you wish for. You may find someone 'wonderful', who'll make your life a living hell in a myriad of ways several years down the road. You may become the "it's cheaper to keep her" guy who's stuck with some (*)(*)(*)(*)(*) and kids that were unplanned because divorce isn't really an option. Don't say it can't happen, you're mortal like the rest of us

So, maybe just enjoy being single, have fun with a gal when the opportunity presents itself. Do some soul searching, figure out why you feel such a need to be committed to a serious relationship. Perhaps stop looking, but keep your eyes open.

 

maybe they are out trying to prove how serious they are about serious relationships, by lying to us and letting us miss our turn.

 

Ive been in what I thought were going to be long term relationships before. I know how much better life is with a partner than without. Im 33 and Im really not trying to be by myself anymore. Its not that I can't have fun alone, its that with the right girl life is much, much better. Ive done my time alone, I'm beyond ready to find someone and I will not stop looking nor will I settle on someone I don't really like. Its easy for people in hapoy relationships to talk about how little it matters, but live the other side for a few years and tell me how great it is.

 

Statistically, a married person who is in a relatively happy situation will outlive a single person. I'm 49, and I've been single my entire life. There's the good and the bad to it, but the important thing is to develop a routine and outside interests. Being single doesn't mean you have to relegate yourself to solitude, it's important to maintain social interactions also.

All in all however, I don't recommend bachelorhood in the long term. I have little to nothing in common with married friends who have children...those friendships have fallen by the wayside. Whether by choice or just life's situation and you find yourself single in the long-term, I cannot stress enough the need to develop a consistent routine. If you don't you will, not may...you will fall prey to destructive patterns of behavior...

alcoholism
drugs
pornography addiction
obesity
depression & suicide

You will shorten your life and the statistics bear this out.

I may not be a marriage expert or know how to raise a child, what I do know are the plus and minus aspects of the bachelor life. As a committed bachelor, you need a different mindset than those actively seeking to be in a relationship. It isn't about resigning oneself to a less than fulfilling life, it is about making the most of what has been handed to you, whether by choice or a situation.

 

If you feel you explored all options you have to give thought to more extreme measures....move, find a new job elsewhere, europe, asia, women everywhere find an accent attractive...foreign dating/marriages sites it's like an arranged marriage only you screen the candidates and not your parents(and they screen you)...there are millions of women out there with the same problem as you....you want companionship, and they want companionship and security...foreign women at least unfront about their needs and end goal/marriage....

 

I dont know..but if you find out where the single guys in their 30's (early 40s) are...please let me know.

 

If they are anything like me they're going to the bar after work and on dating sites looking to meet people.

 

Im not going that route. If I dont see things happening Im pulling the trigger. Im generally not happy alone and if thats all I can have then its not worth it to me.

 

Human beings can adapt to virtually almost anything once you get your mind right.
First and foremost...the following is a myth.
Only another person/people can provide fulfillment.

You have to get ouf of that sort of thought pattern, you must commit to survival regardless of circumstances beyond your control...and here's a newsflash, almost everything is beyond one's control. Control the aspects of life that you can and commit to adapting.

You might meet the love of your life, be euphorically happy...for a time, and this person could get hit by a bus..or the philosophical equivalent.

Commit to life, regardless of life's events.

 

Sorry, but I just refuse to go it alone. Ive donenit long enough in my life and it doesn't make me happy anymore. Its not the life for me. It may work for others but Im not one of them. I just dont see the point. I want to get out on some adventures with my partner, get married, have kids. If thats not whats going to happen then (*)(*)(*)(*) it im done.

 

I was single for a long, long time before having what I have today. Single in the sense of not having serious, meaningful relationships. I lived by myself, took care of myself, did what I wanted to do... when I wanted... made friends with girls when the opportunity presented itself, if I wanted anything to do with them. It really wasn't that bad in retrospect. Again, I wouldn't trade life as it is now, for life as it was, but I don't view the past as a 'dark time', or anything like that.

I'm only suggesting that your current situation may not be as undesirable as it appears you perceive it to be, and that your method of remedying the situation may not be the best approach.

Good luck though.