in a perfect world.... you're right.... but if you think the world is a perfect place, or ever think perfection is achievable, you are mistaken... There is no such thing as everyone following the law, being nice, getting along. So teaching women how to not become victims is very important. INstead, it's considered sexist to suggest women be proactive about protecting themselves and it's met with rediculous and dangerous statements like "rape is illegal, women should be able to dress and act however they want"
It's fine to teach women how to avoid dangerous situations, I agree. But when it does happen to them it certainly doesn't help to play the victim blame game either. "Well it's your own fault because you did a, b and c." Well sorry we don't have a time machine and cannot go back and change a, b, and c. What we can do is help these people find the courage to report the crime and face the perpetrator. Victim blaming tends to keep the victims from wanting to seek justice and instead they try and hide and make it all go away like it never happened and continue to suffer and be afraid.
This is the problem though. The guy who commits this "crime" has his judgement just as impaired as the "victim". Why is the female not expected to be accountable for her actions when she is that drunk, but the male is? This seems to me to be more of this idea, that men and women are equal, but aren't treated as such.
Why do you think I am talking about date rape (which I am pretty sure involves drugs like rufies)? You guys really need to get off the whole, "Oh well they were both drunk and stupid obviously." I am not even remotely talking about stupid frat house party antics. I am talking about totally sober boys, girls, men and women being sexually assaulted by evil and horrible human beings who penetrate their orifices against their wills and/or cause serious physical harm to their genitals and emotionally scar them for life.
Proof please, because I am pretty sure more children are molested every single year than there are stupid drunk women filing false rape charges against stupid drunk men.
Where did I ever claim these rapes are false? What I have claimed is that the definition of rape, includes a scenario where the women is too drunk to make a coherant decision, and has sex. This is my problem, and you should have a problem with it as well, because like BS drug laws and how they undermine people's confidence and respect for our laws, this kind of rape undermines the credibility of truely horrific acts.
Sorry, I was under the impression that I asked if you could prove that most rapes are false and that is what you were posting the link for. I am against that and I agree it is very, very stupid. But I am very tired of people dismissing all rape as if she just got drunk and regretted her sexual encounter from the previous night, because real rape is not like that at all. Agreed! But like I said before, what we need to do is encourage people who have truly been sexually assaulted to seek justice instead of victim blaming. Most sexual assault is highly under reported from what I understand.
Healthy gender roles are natural gender roles, not politically correct ones that try to make male and female the same thing. And no, I don't believe in "rape culture."
I believe in a culture where women can insist they need to fornicate us into relationships, simply because that is what chics do best.
Can you give us the source of this statistic? I am a little skeptical. Is that statistic including community colleges?, all colleges internationally?, reported rapes?, estimated rapes? You need to show that this is a problem before anyone would pay attention to the topic and cite credible sources before I think that this more than a minor problem.
Thing is where exactly do you draw the line? In my state the legal limit of intoxication is .08 (to drive) and many people will still look completely sober, and be able to walk and talk normally etc with just .08 in their system. So that kind of irks me - the thought of being able to be charged as a 'rapist' for having sex with with someone who seemed sober enough to consent, but may have been just slightly over the legal limit. Personally I think if a person says 'yes' then unless they're underage, or mentally impaired, or out cold, it should be considered consensual - even if they are 'drunk' and they say 'yes', it's still consensual - if they wake up and regret it, then well they should just not drink so much next time. This is better than opening a can of worms where a woman can say 'yes' to sex, but wake up the next day and claim 'rape' because she had slightly too much to drink the last night and doesn't think she said 'yes' with a totally clear head.
I believe women need to stop being bad girls and start being nice enough to fornicate us guys into relationships, simply for the sake of honesty as a moral and form of respect toward fellow human beings. Everybody knows bad girls don't really care about morals.
Well, not saying that a woman being drunk justifies the rape any more than it would justify any other crime. The thing is though, if I got drunk and therefore was an easy mark for a robbery (say I got trashed in a neighborhood known to be bad while wearing very expensive clothes) -- people are going to call me an idiot for having done that. Even if I was stone cold sober, doing things that increase my chances of being a victim of other crimes is going to have people pointing that out. You cannot walk through Compton wearing a $20,000 ring and expect nothing to happen. And it's the same thing with rape as with other crimes. It's one thing if you're doing everything you can to avoid the problem -- by doing all the "right" stuff to prevent whatever crime -- and another to do the stuff that makes you more likely to be a victim. I'd say that going to a college party and getting blackout drunk is frankly asking for bad things to happen. A girl passed out drunk in the Alpha house is the same thing as a $20,000 ring in Compton. It's an invitation, whether you want to think it is or not. What I'm saying is that women need to take care to not get themselves in those kinds of situations. Don't dress like a hooker, drink like a fish, and then pretend that there's not at least one man in that party of 100+ people you've just met that isn't thinking about rape. It's predictable, which means it's preventable. If you do everything you can and get raped despite your best efforts to avoid it, that's one thing. If you've taken no steps to protect yourself, and in fact made the rape more likely by your own behavior, then you do bear some blame. It's the same as any other crime. I lock my doors at night to deter a thief. If I leave my doors and windows wide open, I'm probably going to have stuff stolen from my house.
I agree, its dangerous to girls to say "do whatever you want because its against the law to rape you' I don't trust gun free zones to protect me any more than I trust rapefree zones toprotect my daughter
Would this be an issue if it were socially acceptable for nice girls to fornicate us into relationships, not only to not let bad girls make fun of our being bad in bed skills, but because only bad girls let us miss our turn and go get used by all of the other ones. Nice girls always insist we never miss our turn.
And I agree. Teach women to protect themselves and teach them to recognize and avoid dangerous situations. But when they are raped do not blame them for it and make them out to be the one at fault because that just makes them less likely to report it. The victim should not be bullied, put down or made to feel like it was her own fault, that is the very last thing you want to do to a victim of rape because chances are they are already blaming themselves in their own confusion over the event, replaying it in their minds and trying to think of what they could have done to change it or stop it from happening. My mom was raped at 14 back in the 70s. Back then they often made women feel like it was their fault for being raped instead of letting them know it was not their fault and teaching them to speak up about it. Maybe if she had been taught to speak out about her sexual assault instead of being made to feel like it was her own fault and she was just asking for it (she did put herself in a dangerous situation and a man took advantage of that) then maybe they would have caught and prosecuted this man. Instead he's probably still out there and may have raped other girls.
learn from it though.... Noone says they SHOULD be raped because they wear a short dress to a frat party and chose to get pass out drunk around a bunch of drunk horny men, but instead of telling the next group of girls "the girl did nothing wrong...." point out the things she could have done to have protected herself better. Women lybbers akin that to blame when it absolutely isn't. I mean, if you get mugged and robbed of your rolex in Compton, and lose all your cash cuz you were seen flashing it around at a party, that doesn't excuse the crime, but you'd be an IDIOT to do it all again the next weekend. if you SEE someone else get mugged and robbed of their Rolex in Compton, and lose all their cash cuz they were seen flashing it around at a party, that doesn't excuse the crime, but you'd be an idiot if you thought it would be a good idea to flash cash and wear expensive jewelry to a party in Compton NEXT weekend. if you KNOW what causes an undesireable action, yet still do it, you do have some responsibility (not for the crime, but rather, for the fact you could have saved yourself a world of grief and thought "what happened to xxxx, won't happen to me") That responsibility has ZERO to do with punishment for the criminal..... only that you are responsible for acting like an idiot when you should have known better. truth is, you SHOULD be able to wear whatever you want to a party whereever, REALITY says, we don't live in a perfect world and sometimes, to protect one's own self, one has to change THEIR behavior.
The problem is that this is being undercut by the notion of "blaming the victim". Whenever someone suggests something a woman can do to prevent a rape, the women's movement goes crazy and screams about "blaming the victim". This is why that needs to stop, it prevents women from taking control over the parts of this that they can control. Saying that not dressing a certain way makes you less likely to be raped means that I think you have some control over the situation. Cirmes should be reported, all crimes. But I think you need to make the distinction between blaming a victim and enabling an attacker by not teaching people what kinds of things prevent a rape. What we do now makes it a lot easier for the rapist, because not only do we not teach people how not to be victims of that crime, we've taught them that even suggesting that there are ways to avoid becoming a victim is "blaming the victim", meaning that of course, no news media or school or other places will even touch that subject despite the desperate need for such information to come out.
This is all I really have to say about that. http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/avoiding-victim-blaming/ and http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/avoiding-victim-blaming/exercise/ Victim blaming only occurs after a crime has occurred. I see absolutely no harm in teaching girls and women how to fend off sexual predators, or how to avoid dangerous situations. But after they have already been attacked and you start lecturing them on how they should have behaved that is victim blaming and all it does is shut them off from the rest of the world and harm them more. Yeah, maybe they shouldn't have done a, b, and c, but that doesn't change the fact that the crime has already happened and that they need your support and not your criticism.
What a coincidence under any form of capitalism; i merely claim to be a mostly nice guy who doesn't have a lot of money.
