Smartie's Bar & Grill #63

Mornin', folks

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

"Terrible, doctor, terrible."

"Did it not work?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best that I'd had in 25 years."

"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

 

Under the Golden Arch and Luvin It, huh?

[video=youtube;2iO8fZKAQv4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iO8fZKAQv4[/video]

 

I think Brady might have to finally go to the medicine cabinet for a couple
Excedrin.His head is surely smarting.How a guy who is considered an Old timer
and can't pass further than 30 yards { Peyton Manning } can whip the noodle
of a Patriot is a sight for sore eyes.No question Peyton is one of Footballs toughest
Quarterbacks.How does 4 neck surgeries sound for being tough.
I still think Terry Bradshaw was tougher.But not by much.
And Joe Montana probably the best ever.Maybe Johnny Unitas.
And Joe Namath had the strongest arm.
Definitely not Dan Marino.All he did was pass.He was what you call a ball hog.

 

Well after Seth came out with that Joke. My coffee thought was.....why would old people go and eat inside a McDonalds.

Cmon now.....that means parking the car and getting out of the car. Standing in line. Then sitting at a table or booth out in an open area with kids running around. Other people walking around. Most have two entrances so ya have to watch both doors. Not to mention the bathroom doors.

While trying to eat your food and look like your enjoying it. Much better to Supersize from the Car, eat a couple fries and then check out the special sauce.

 

But undoubredly you can show Yer Viagra in McDonalds again.
The Purple People Pill.

 

What.....the Purple Pill, thats not Viagra. Thats Nexium made for acid reflux disease.

It was suppose to be a Cure for those that took the Purple Micro-dot with LSD, Right?

 

Purple ... Blue ... what's the Diff.?
Don't be redick.

 

Well if there aint any women around.....that would be the difference.

 

Mornin'.

The 23rd Cup

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures;
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz.
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I'll fear no Equal for thou art with me;
Thy cream and thy flavorings they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez.
Thou anointest my days with vigor; my mug runneth over.
Surely flavor and aroma shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of Maxwell forever.
Amen!

 

Coffee? Is It still coffee time?

 

Back in me day { Yores ago } that was a sight like no udders.
bein' a tru-blue Beer nut.Don't forget that Andre the Giant the Guiness World
record { when they still had Guiness records for booze consumed } holder
for beer consumption.Over 100 bottles of beer at one sitting.
In a 6 hr. period Andre { World's Biggest thirst } downed 119 { 12 oz. } Beers.
Andre when travelling in Japan had Hulk Hogan as a busmate.Andre would
sit in the back of the bus with his beer.Hogan was responsible for making sure
Andre always had enough beer.When Andre started getting a little short on beers,he'd
take an empty can and crunch-up in his huge hands like a snowball and
toss at Hulk Hogans head to make sure the bus stopped for a beer run.

 

Mornin Seth. Dwell in the House of Maxwell, huh? I could see a few perks.

 

Yeah lets get to Thursday already. Then this week over. I want to get in and get my taxes done.

Feburary the car show will be in town. They will be giving out every deal you can think of, and I plan to have new car by the end of that month.

 

Back in August Ford ran a O% interest for 5 years on new Ford Trucks.
The 2015 Ford F-150 was the best Ford Pickup ever.Had an all new aluminum
body { 500-700 lbs. lighter and less prone to dings } Something like 10 Million
miles of testing went into the new Ford F-150.It has a more rigid and enhanced
steel frame also.Now there's TOO Many Ford Pickups on the road.Like Jeeps.
You coulda also got a deal with the 5 year no interest plan.But not as mush.
I got me a $50,ooo F-150 for a little over $40,ooo plus tax and freight.

 

Right now Hyundai is offering no payments for 90 days. I am seeing quite a few of those around the road by me. Of course, Ford is a given around here and NW Indiana.

 

They're great cars. Got two of 'em. O6's with tons a miles on 'em.

Got a 91 Ford F250 4wd truck too. Just got it repainted. Still looks good! Kind of an old beast, though. Not like these quiet, soft riding, new ones.

 

Last March Me, my family and friends and a huge party and just threw tons of beer (100+) in the snow on the deck, we drank most of them but soon the snow melted and we had all these random beers all over the deck with soggy labels lol... It was pretty funny it was a mess... We had a good case after the snow melted...

We had all kinds of beer...

 

Insomnia sucks.

 

Mornin Seth. The Hyundai.....the ex use to have an Elantra. It did have good gas mileage for a 4cylinder. I am looking at getting something that will be good on gas. I get to use my own car for some of my work.

If I can afford the SUV. I will get that rather than a car. Then I wont have to pull myself up to get out of the damn thing. I rather have the SUV and just be able to slide Right out.

I am not into those little sports cars anymore.

 

Mornin, MMC. Mornin All,

Wife's car is a Sonata. My commuter is an Elantra. Both have been great and almost trouble-free. Hyundai makes a couple of SUV's. But there are a lot of choices out there, so happy shopping.

I've gotta go to w ... I've gotta go to wo ... I've gotta go to wo ... wor ... .... wwwww.... today.

See you all around tonight. Have a good one.

 

Good morning, bar flies. Got us another hump day here. Coffee?

 

The galsy seem to go for them Mazda Miata.They a pretty good little sports car.
Used to be the Euro standby Alfa Romeo or Fiat Spider.No longer even see the popular
MGB anymore.Can't remember the last time I saw one.My Father bought one for
my Mom and she didn't like it.It sat too low and required shifting.I eventually was allowed
to use it during my summers.I ran away from home for a week after I graduated High school.
I slept in that MGB. Also went out to visit a college buddy one summer who lived like
7 states away.It was like my - On the Road - period in life.
I'm on my 4th pickup truck.This should be me last.Very impressed with the New
2015 Ford F-150.Even in 2 wheel drive it handles snow really well.I inherited my
Dad's F-150 back in the mid-90's after he passed.The thing was pure crap in snow.
It didn't have 4 wheel.My new F-150 has 4wheel drive with locking rear diff.
Plus it's the Off Road model.

 

Oh yeah they definitely like sports cars......until they get stuck in the snow.

 

True sports cars are The Last thing worth any salt in snow.Even a Corvette with their
standard Positraction.They sit Way too low.MGB were notorious for rusting out underneath
if used in winter in the Northeast.There are All Wheel drive sports cars.
But rear wheel drive only sports cars are not advisable in Winter.
Which begs the question.Why did Oliver { Ryan O'Neil } in - Love Story - {1970}
depend on his little 2 seater runabout { MG TC } topless and his old man
{ Ray Miland } the Rich Banker a Jaguar XKE in Boston.Those cars are no good
in snow.Yet there they were,as if a daily driver in Winter puttering around Harvard.
So ... yes,I guess it depends on what one finds sexy.
I'd take a nice XKE { 12 cylinder } in winter ... any time.Then right home for some
hot chocolate and a nice warm nappy with favorite blanket.For the car,who else.