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Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Apr 14, 2020.

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  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A senior citizen

    said to his eighty-year old buddy:
    'So I hear you're getting married?'

    'Yep!'

    'Do I know her?

    'Nope!'
    'This woman, is she good looking?'
    'Not really.'
    'Is she a good cook?'
    'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
    'Does she have lots of money?'
    'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
    'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
    'Because she can still drive!'
     
    Sallyally, May 24, 2021
    #1451
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  2. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    It’s just a joke.


    God is creating the world, and he talks to the canadians
    He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It is called Canada. You will have prosperity and food for all your days.”

    He then gets the Australians, and says to them “I give to you Australia. You are isolated, and the land is a desert. You will work every day and will get very little in return. It will be harsh, but you will be hardened by it. You will find it hard, but you will call it home.”

    The Australians reply “This is so unfair, why do the Canadians get good land and prosperity and we only get the harsh land, the scraps!?”

    He replies “They do. But I didn’t tell the Canadians about their neighbours.”
     
    Sallyally, May 24, 2021
    #1452
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  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    75% of Australian men watch porn.
    The other 25% are with Optus and still waiting for it to load.
     
    Sallyally, May 24, 2021
    #1453
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  4. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    This is a test. What is the difference between these two photos? Take your time. It's very subtle.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 24, 2021
    #1454
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  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Greene equated wearing a mask to avoid killing your neighbors, to Jews in Nazi Germany.

    We can certainly see the similarities, right...?
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 24, 2021
    #1455
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  6. politicalcenter

    politicalcenter Well-Known Member

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    Mistake.....
     
    politicalcenter, May 24, 2021
    #1456
  7. David Landbrecht

    David Landbrecht Well-Known Member

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    The other people know that "steal" is a verb and not a noun?
     
    David Landbrecht, May 25, 2021
    #1457
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  8. Melb_muser

    Melb_muser Well-Known Member Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    Melb_muser, May 26, 2021
    #1458
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Idiot!
     
    Sallyally, May 26, 2021
    #1459
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  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Why is it that people choose online names that are the opposite of the truth. It is like people choose names they they wish were true, when in fact just the opposite is true.

    For example, if an online name includes the word Funny, you can be sure they have no sense of humor. If their online name includes the word Sensible, you can be sure they have no sense.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 26, 2021
    #1460
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Del. Didn’t read properly.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2021
    Sallyally, May 26, 2021
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  12. Melb_muser

    Melb_muser Well-Known Member Donor

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    I can't help think of many on the right here with their macho avatars :aww:
     
    Melb_muser, May 26, 2021
    #1462
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  13. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    The International Council of Man Laws
    13:Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
    16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
    remain sober enough to fight.
    20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing
    i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
    situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
    need.
    24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green,
    orange or sky blue.
    25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for
    Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox
    End of story.
     
    Sallyally, May 26, 2021
    #1463
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  14. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Roe vs Wade is now a climate change issue.

    Those are you choices if you live near a river.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 27, 2021
    #1464
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  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    My gf and I were considering how polarized the country has become. Almost anything can be taken as a political statement. We started going down the list:

    Fast food chicken
    Auto racing
    Football
    Harley Davidson
    Amazon
    A college education
    Science
    "News" shows

    about that time I heard the distinctive sound of a wood flute in my background bedroom mood music.

    It struck me that wood flutes are left wing.
    Metal flutes are right wing.

    We both laughed really hard. It's true!!! I think this was the first time I've laughed about politics since trump first arrived on the scene.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 27, 2021
    #1465
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  16. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    StillBlue, May 28, 2021
    #1466
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  17. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally, May 28, 2021
    #1467
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  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    OMG there is nothing worse than venomous Australians!

    I saw that some guy is juicing the mice and selling the drink as Mickey Juice.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 28, 2021
    #1468
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  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Inspired by the Bass-o-matic...

     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 28, 2021
    #1469
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  20. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Liberals go to Starbucks
    Righties go to bars.

    Liberals go to yoga
    Righties go bars

    Liberals go to Whole Foods
    Righties go for fast food

    Liberals ride bicycles
    Righties go to bars
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 28, 2021
    #1470
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  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Grandpa, Stop the funeral!
     
    Sallyally, May 29, 2021
    #1471
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  22. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Yesterday Republicans refused to create an independent, bisexual commission to investigate the attack on the capitol.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 29, 2021
    #1472
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  23. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Republicans don't identify as bipartisan.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 29, 2021
    #1473
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  24. signalmankenneth

    signalmankenneth Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    signalmankenneth, May 29, 2021
    #1474
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  25. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Doggy style is one thing. Doggy greeting is another.

    The question is, what is Stan dreaming before he awakes?
     
    HereWeGoAgain, May 30, 2021
    #1475
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