I think I was date-raped last weekend, what should I do?

I've dated women much more my senior, and women who were barely legal. Neither of these activities are illegal. The difference of age is those above 18 and below 18. Because we do not afford that individuals under that age are legally permitted to consent to anything. That is a totally different issue there altogether that I won't get into on this thread.

I think our views here run parallel, even if we disagree on where the line is.

 

there's more than one way for a woman to rape a man. he got the easy way.

 

Excellent post, other than the assumption that the OP is a troll, I agree 100%. Rape is not sex, and sex is not rape. Not withstanding the physical similarities, the two are poles apart. Equally ugly are, false rape accusations, the threat of false rape accusations, and the state of mind eager to condemn an accused rapist through spite. I think this is what Jason was referring too. Possibly a taboo subject according to some, but a legitimate issue none the less.

 

Contrary to popular misconception, it is only rape when the other party is INCAPACITATED, not drunk. That means passed out or barely consciouss. Drunk people have sex all the time, and are still responsible for their decisions.

Also, date rape is something entirely different, it is when someone drugs you up without your knowledge.

I think it is borderline insulting to rape victims to compare your regretted sex to rape.

 

I reported facts. If facts make you feel dirty and creepy, then you're in for a rough and delusional life.

 

Self satisfied much?

 

I agree with you that it SHOULD be this way... however.... being drunk is being used by more an more women who regret having sex with a guy as a way to not feel like a slut, or a whore, the next day....

I met a girl who had Genital herpes. She got it at 14. I met her, she was 21 and she was a friend of the (now ex) wife. Of course, she didn't get the STD because she had unprotected sex when she was probably WAY TOO YOUNG, it was because she was raped (don't think of a statutory rape sort of thing as his age at the time did not qualify) as a 14 y.o. Of course, it wasn't "rape" until after she tested positive for an STD and realized her bf had been messing around on her and and gave it to her because a girl he slept with had it...

So by claiming "rape" now.... she can deflect from the fact she got a STD because of poor decisions (not using protection, too young...) She also can get revenge on a cheating ex-bf by trying to ruin his life by calling him a rapist. DOUBLE WIN.....


The part I hate the most about debating rape... is the intellectual dishonesty by the women's righters in getting upset whenever someone questions rape (as if they believe that if a woman claims rape, no need for a trial, just lock the "attacker" up) They also hate differentiating rape and will attack you for using terms like "legitamate rape" ect.

I definately believe there is legit.... FORCIBLE rape. I also agree there is a date rape (drugging a girl where she passes out or erases their memory for the purpose of having sex)


But classifying Regrettable sex as date rape is not right. Or not allowing people to question the motives of a "rape victim" on something like my above story.... (ie-a bitter ex g/f trying to get revenge on a cheating b/f).... I mean sure, the guy's a (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)bag.... but he's not guilty of rape

 

Proof?

Ah! I see - an unprovable anecdotal story is adequate as proof that

Now a little real life lesson - if she was "fooling around" at 14 you can pretty well bet she has a background of abuse - if not sexual then emotional

That is not to say there are nasty women out there but 14 is still WAAAY too young for sex - how much older was the BF can we ask?

I don't blame them - it is a VERY offensive term. Would you accept a term such as "Legitimate robbery"

But there is a lot of proof you are wrong - a lot of rapes are underreported because the process to weed out the false claims from true claims are so difficult that it ends with the real cases being put through hell

 

http://www.wavy.com/dpp/news/crime/wrongly-accused-man-still-imprisoned

 

much better to just throw the man in jail over the accusation and ruin his life than scrutinize the story....


If I claim you shot me, I would have to be scrutinized and my story questioned in order to prove if I'm just making it up or not... If I didn't have a bullet wound.... that may be the first flaw in my accusation, huh?


But in rape cases, and date rape cases.... we are to just believe the girl no matter what and make the man prove his innocence? But while trying to prove that innocence, don't allow him to ask to see "the bullet wound" (ie- prove it)

 

BB, I`m not sure if you realise it, but your comments seem more based on the war of the sexes, than an interest in common justice.

 

I can't imagine too many juries that would view going to a singles party and getting plastered there as responsible behavior.

But if you have a really radical militant ADA in your county, maybe it would be prosecuted. However under most cases I doubt it.

The thing to do therefore is learn to control your alcoholism and avoid circumstances in which you cannot seem to make up your own mind.

 

Exactly right.

 

Perception is in the brain of the beholder

So what part of "if a 14 year old is fooling around she has in all probability been abused" can be attributed to the "war of the sexes"?

 

I made my point earlier in the thread that if the mad put on a condom (as per the OP) but the woman was so "out of it" she could not remember what happened then it was probably rape due to the unequal power balance

The last post is in relation to the general blaming of women for getting drunk and blaming the man

This is nothing really different for blaming the woman for

the way she dresses
the way she speaks
the way she walks
the way she smells
the way she exists

 

http://lawyersusaonline.com/benchmarks/2011/10/12/is-sex-by-extortion-%E2%80%98rape%E2%80%99/

Every State has a statute against rape, not every state's is the same. If you define balance of power is equal to the ability to consent, you'd be wrong in a number of states. The Law states that Rape occurs when a party does not consent, or is incapable of consenting due to incapacitation, or is under distress by threat of personal harm. A lot of states don't even count Sex by blackmail as Rape. And in some of those states, even arguing that Sex by threat of injury to a loved one of the victim is not rape, because it's not threat of PERSONAL HARM. (there would be a whole host of different charges in a lot of these scenarios, not withstanding)

 

WoW! And there are all those people working on anti-abortion - they would be better off working on making some sense of this mess!!

 

Another anecdotal SINGULAR case - does not prove "more an more women who regret having sex with a guy as a way to not feel like a slut, or a whore, the next day...."

What are the statistics

 

That's a very telling statement from him, huh? In one sentence he delivers and assigns the grubby, derogatory language towards women. This is how sexist males regard / describe women. It speaks volumes for his lack of regard / derogatory way of speaking about women.

Yet I've seen this poster on this forum bragging about having lots of sex and drinking like a fool. And here he is demeaning women as 'sluts and whores'. I think his statement tells us more about his character than anything about else.

 

I like to think of myself as 'enlightened' but I still have a grave fear of some girl getting pissed and making false accusations against me.

 

Do you realise how "balanced" and "impartial" your posts appear?

 

Why, thank you. Always nice to get positive feedback from a poster that bores me (*)(*)(*)(*)less.

Yes, yes, 'balanced' and 'impartial' like you feeling 'dirty' and 'creepy' from reading FACTS. Hell, that's being sooo balanced and impartial right there.

Try harder, maybe next round, you will actually get a jab in. Cos that's what you're trying to do, right? Not working, fella.

 

Ass long as yer (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) wan't sore, get over it.

 

I dont think so, a lot of 14 year olds have sex, and abuse is not a prerequisite. They are well into puberty at that age.

 

The OP was smashed out of his tiny brain and may have had sex with a an who took him home.
He has no real idea if he actually had sex, if he agreed to sex or even who could have done it, if it happened at all. Passed out at a party and a load of drunken men around, could have been anyone.

Yep, I'd happily accuse a man of rape with no evidence and probably destroy his life because I was stupid - not.